you doing about your flight?” I ask, switching into problem-solver mode, doing my best to keep my emotions at bay.
“Your grandmother arranged for me to use the jet one last time. Kylian… O’Kelly will accompany me. He’ll make sure I reach my destination safely.”
“Do you want me to come with you, too?” I ask before I stop to consider the ramifications.
Even if she agrees, I won’t be allowed. As the Privy Council instructed, it’s imperative I not be seen with her. Not if we stand a chance to keep the monarchy intact.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Nora replies. “The best thing for us is a clean break.”
“Why do I get the feeling there’s nothing clean about this?”
She lifts her glossy eyes back to mine, tears threatening to escape once more. “Because there isn’t. This is as messy and dirty as can be. But I don’t see any other option. Do you?” Her voice carries a twinge of hope.
I avert my gaze. “I don’t.”
Spine straight, she re-secures the mask she wore for years. The same mask she wore when we met. The one I chipped away at. And the one I forced her to put back on when I introduced her to this world.
“I’ll keep you updated on Little Pickle. Despite everything, I’d still like you to be in his life, at least as much as you’re able. He won’t have to know who you are. I mean, he’ll know who you are, but not what you are, if that makes sense.
I arch a brow. “He?”
Sadness covers her expression as she rests her hand on her stomach. “Just a feeling I have.”
When she first told me she was pregnant, I was beyond excited about the prospect of having a child. But I sensed an unease within her. A fear. I couldn’t quite explain it, but for several weeks, it felt like she purposefully avoided any reminder that she was pregnant, not even touching her stomach, probably out of fear she’d get attached to this life growing inside only for it to be taken away.
But lately, she’s gotten over that fear.
If she can get over hers, why can’t I get over mine?
“I’d like that,” I tell her. “If it’s not too difficult, I’d like to be there when he’s born. Maybe schedule a few trips out there for some of your appointments.”
“As long as it won’t interfere with your schedule. You’re still his father. I won’t cut you off just because we didn’t work out.” She blows out a choked laugh, looking at the ceiling. “Although if you come to visit one day with a new wife you were forced to marry just to produce a real heir, I may have a complete breakdown.”
I frame her face in my hands so she can see the truth behind my words. My fingers dig into her skin, an intensity buzzing through me as a new wave of tears falls down my cheeks.
“Our child will always be a real heir.” I rest my forehead on hers. “And you will always be my queen.” My voice cracks as I struggle to speak through the agony enveloping me, mind, body, and soul.
“And you will always be my king.”
I press my lips against hers, torturing myself with one last kiss. One last taste of her. One last moment of happiness.
It reminds me of the last time I kissed her before telling her about my involvement in the crash that cost her everything. I knew once I did, there would be no turning back.
But like Esme so succinctly put it back then, I was torn between having a clear conscience and a broken heart. Despite knowing I could have very well kept it to myself the rest of my life, I told Nora the truth. She deserved to know.
Just like she now deserves to be free of the cage this life has trapped her in.
She deserves to fly, and she can’t do that with me.
To keep my conscience clear, I break my heart and let her go.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Nora
The airplane jostles as I stare out the window, the familiar skyline of Manhattan lit up at night zooming by. The engines roar, the plane gradually slowing down at the end of the runway before turning and taxiing toward the fixed-base operations office where I’ll disembark and leave this life behind.
“Ready, ma’am?” Lieutenant O’Kelly walks up to me from his seat toward the front of the plane, the crew bustling around to prepare the cabin to return to Belmont, minus