I tried to imagine the man who could make me feel this way...and my imagination was nothing compared to the real thing."
His response was just a grunt now, and he scooped me up and brought me to the bed. He dropped me under him and lifted my skirt, snapping my underwear against my waist. "Get rid of it or I'll do it for you," he said.
I got rid of it.
He really was just as eager to have me tonight as he was last night. I realized that something in the back of my mind had been worrying that he didn't really want me the same way. Now his eyes were clear, and his skin wasn't feverish with any spells, but he wanted me just as much.
I knew now what it felt like to truly be wanted. I had meant nothing to Bernard. But I was becoming everything to Bevan, and he was already everything to me.
He slid into me like a hand in glove, like the tight leather gloves Mrs. Franch once wore to parties but that now just sat in a drawer for me to try on when I felt like imagining myself a fine lady. A little too tight at first and then they softened on one's hands like a second skin. I clung to Bevan, my core clenching at first and then relaxing. I let all my clothes dissolve into thin air.
"What are you doing to me?" Bevan whispered huskily in my ear. "I was always so controlled. Helena would laugh if she saw me."
"I'm glad she's not." I wrapped my legs around him.
"Oh, me too. But this side of me is just for you."
"I'll keep it secret." I kissed his cheek.
We made love in earnest, finding the same rhythm as last night. I could be happy like this forever even if nothing were to ever change, I thought.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Jenny
I woke alone in the bed and quickly conjured up a dress to wear. Any worries I had at finding myself alone were quickly chased away when I found a note from Bevan hanging off the mantel.
Gone to market. Variel wanted to take the whole gang. I hope we'll come home with something you'll like. See you soon. —Bev
The letter made me smile in the way that everything made me smile lately. The casual loop of his signature alone gave me the same feeling as seeing a flower bloom for the very first time. Magical, somehow.
Hmm, what could I make for when they get home? We're all out of fruit and there's none to be had in the forest now. It's getting too cold. A Florida girl isn't used to this!
But I did see some nuts, didn't I? And there is a lick of milk left. I bet Bevan is bringing me more milk and cream. In the meantime, I could make pralines.
I grabbed a basket. The homestead looked more lived-in every day, and the crisp air was scented of woodsmoke. The servants' laundry was hanging out to dry and dancing in a soft wind. Everything in the world seemed infused with joy. I spotted a white square of folded paper in the dry autumn grasses under the line. Someone must have dropped it.
I unfolded the paper to see if it was important. I thought it might be a shopping list and was already wondering if I'd be able to run along the path and catch them. I knew how important a shopping list could be since I had to make them for Mrs. Franch.
I was met with a lewd picture of a naked girl with a man's hands on her round breasts and with a jolt I realized it was a drawing of me with Bevan. That was my pose, and my bangs, and those were my breasts too. It wasn't even a bad likeness but it made me feel like someone had reached inside me and wrenched out a piece. The drawing version of me looked like a slut.
I shoved it in my apron pocket.
Did Bevan...draw me?
I knew he must have. It was too accurate. I just never imagined he would draw naughty pictures of me without even telling me. And then to be careless enough to drop it! Gods, anyone could have seen! It was too close. Only, some damage was done already. The more I thought about the drawing the more it seemed to ruin everything we had shared, reducing it to some scrawl of big boobs and my mouth hanging open.
Is this something