sorry I scared you.”
He was still shaking his head. “So you’re really okay?” I nodded, and his expression grew serious. “I won’t tell anyone else, if I can help it.” He looked uncomfortable, and I thought I sensed anger.
I took a deep breath. “Thanks. I would appreciate it if you didn’t.” I leaned forward and put my head in my hands. “God, I’m so bad at this!” At being a vampire.
Haine patted my back. “Don’t sweat it.” As usual, his kindness made me cry. I couldn’t show all this weakness and fear to Peter because he would only feel guilty, but with Haine, it didn’t matter. Sensing my mood, he slipped his arm around me, drawing me close to his side.
“I just…” I said tearfully, “…something’s not right with me.” I turned to look up at him. “Haine, I have these dreams…”
He sat up and pulled away, cutting me off. “Don’t.” His voice was cold. I stared up at him in surprise and he grimaced. “Don’t tell me your weaknesses,” he said softly. “I shouldn’t know what they are.”
I sniffed and sat up straighter. “That’s just the thing,” I said desperately. “I don’t think they are weaknesses, I think I’m different. I think I have…”
He cut me off again, taking my hands, his voice pleading. “Don’t tell me that either- don’t tell me your strengths.” He pulled me to him in a crushing hug, as if he could keep me together just by sheer strength alone.
His desperate reaction was scaring me, so I made a huge effort and pulled myself together. “I can’t breathe,” I gasped, jokingly.
“You don’t have to.” Haine squeezed me tighter for a minute, but I knew he was only teasing. He let me go and stood, bending to offer me his hands. I took them, letting him pull me to my feet.
“I’m sorry,” he said calmly. “I overreacted. You just startled me.”
I waved away his concern. “I’m sorry.” I shrugged, feeling awkward. “I don’t want to burden Peter by letting him know that I’m struggling. So I unloaded on you.”
Haine ruffled my hair. “You should tell Peter what is bothering you. If he doesn’t know, then he can’t protect you.”
I crossed my arms and gave him a mutinous look. “I don’t want to have to be protected.”
He sighed. “You really have no understanding of what it means to be a man.”
I frowned at up at him, thinking chivalrous looked good on him. But that didn’t mean I wanted Peter to act that way. “This is not the eighteenth century. I am not a damsel in distress.”
Haine scooped up his borrowed books from the floor, where they had fallen when he snatched me out of my chair. “It doesn’t matter. When you love someone with all your heart, you will do anything to protect them.” He held up a hand to stall my protests. “I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s true.” He gave me a sad look, and I wondered who it was that he loved so desperately, but couldn’t protect. “Put yourself in his shoes for a minute. If it were Peter struggling, would you want to be completely oblivious to his hardship?”
I gave him a look, but didn’t say anything. “Besides, you are vulnerable. If he doesn’t know just what is going on, then he might be unable to help you at a crucial moment. He’s already been responsible for your death once. Don’t make him go through it again, for real this time. Like it or not, you need a protector.”
I felt chastised. “Fine,” I grumped. “But look at how you reacted when I tried to tell you!’”
His whole manner changed. Suddenly he went from treasured and loving friend, to cold and distant monster. “I’m serious, Melody.” His voice was so soft a human wouldn’t have been able to hear him. “Never, ever, speak to me again about your abilities or lack thereof.” His eyes met mine and I felt a bit of compulsion behind his words. “Never.”
I shivered a bit and dropped my gaze. “Fine.” Geez, what an asshole. Apparently, I had violated some kind of unspoken vampire rule.
He ruffled my hair again, and his voice returned to normal. “Thanks for the books. I can’t wait to read them.” His smile was back in place and all hint of power was gone. I saw him out, then locked the door, and vowed not to open it again for anyone.
Chapter 15
Every year, the hospital held a fall carnival. When Peter heard that they