school and I never would have known. She would have left the house before I came home and I wouldn’t have caught them. I wouldn’t have been in this situation where I couldn’t look at my dad across the dining table. My mom thought I was going through a moody teenage phase and she used to send me to my room.”
There was a pause and Matt’s fingers tightened on hers, firm and strong. “Are you telling me that you blamed yourself?”
“Not at first. At first I was confused because I’d thought my parents were happy. That was the scariest thing. If they’d had fights or seemed unhappy then I would have seen it coming, but I didn’t see anything at all. And it made me wonder what I’d missed. I still do that. I look at couples and I wonder what’s going on beneath the surface. What they’re thinking really. Are they happy really or is it all a lie?” She stared down at their hands. “After he left and my mother fell apart, I blamed myself. I was scared. She was in such a bad way I didn’t know what to do. I just wanted her to be herself again. I kept thinking that if I hadn’t found him with that woman, maybe he would have stuck around. Instead, my mom decided to prove she had everything a younger woman had, and my life went from scary to embarrassing. And the worst thing was I missed my dad. I was mad at him, but I still missed him so much. I had this great empty hole in my chest. I thought we were close. I couldn’t understand how he could just walk away from me.”
Matt stood up and pulled her to her feet, wrapping her in a tight hug. “I’m glad you told me.”
“I’m glad I told you, too.” She breathed in the scent of him, soaked up the strength. “At least now you know why I’m a mess. I don’t want to think about how many men my mother has been with since. She’s like a butterfly, flitting from plant to plant, sucking the best from all of them. Do you understand now why I don’t trust relationships?”
“I understand, but Frankie—” he eased her away from him and smoothed her hair back from her face “—have you ever wondered whether the reason you’re afraid of relationships comes from what happened with your father, rather than your mother? He lied and cheated and then expected you to lie, too. He was the person you looked up to, and loved, and he let you down. It seems to me that’s the relationship that damaged you, honey, not your mother.”
She sat in silence, letting his words soak in. “But—”
“When the person you love and trust most in the world lets you down, where do you go from there?”
She stared at him.
Was he right?
For years she’d thought her problems stemmed from her mother’s lifestyle choices. From the evidence that relationships were mostly fleeting and didn’t last.
She thought about her father. He’d walked away without looking back, unimpeded by responsibilities or memories. He’d thrown them off like a snake shedding its skin, teaching her that there was no bond that couldn’t be broken, no declaration of love that couldn’t be withdrawn.
“You’re right.” Her voice was croaky. “Why didn’t I see that? I was always closer to my dad growing up. He called me his ‘baby,’ his ‘little girl.’ If something happened at school, he was the one I told first. He taught me to swim, he took me sailing. He was like a god to me. When it all happened, at first I didn’t believe it. I didn’t know what to do. Every little secret he asked me to keep destroyed another part of our relationship. He made me part of his deception and I found that hard to forgive. I didn’t know whether to tell my mother or not.”
“You were fourteen. No fourteen-year-old should have to make that decision.”
“I lost all respect for him and—” she paused “—I lost my ability to trust.”
“Of course. The one person every little girl should be able to trust is her daddy.” His tone was rough. “Did you tell her? Did your mom know that you knew?”
“No. She was wrecked after my dad left. Some days I stayed home from school because I was afraid to leave her on her own. She kept sobbing over photo albums, staring at every image, wondering if he’d actually loved