tired and just want to go lay down.”
Caden appeared as if he wished to continue, but after a moment, he said, “This conversation isn’t over, Brighton.”
How I wished that it wasn’t. “But it is,” I whispered, and then I walked out of the room, my heart in tatters.
* * * *
I’d gone straight to my room and climbed into bed, curling onto my side and squeezing my eyes shut against the flood of tears that threatened to burst free.
I hurt. My heart hurt. And I couldn’t think about what I’d just done and how incredibly wrong it’d felt. I forced myself to sleep, thinking that would be better than lying awake and feeling what I did now. So I slept the day and night away. I woke in the morning to find a covered plate of scrambled eggs and toast sitting in the chair Caden had occupied. I’d devoured the food by the time Luce showed to check on me. She was pleased and a bit surprised by how quickly my injuries were healing. I’d asked about the food, thinking she’d had it sent up, but she hadn’t. I tried not to think of who had while I asked if it was possible for Luce to pick me up some prenatal vitamins. Already ahead of me, she pulled a small bottle from the pocket of her white lab coat. According to Luce, a pregnant fae didn’t need the extra vitamins, but considering that I was human, and given the lack of nutrition I’d experienced in the early weeks of pregnancy, she believed it would be wise for me to take them.
I hid them in the dresser drawer.
After, I’d slept for most of the day, waking once when Ivy came to visit and then again in the late afternoon. The first thing I looked at when I opened my eyes was the chair.
Caden wasn’t sitting there, but another covered dish was.
Sitting up far more easily than I had the day before, I lifted the lid and found a warm bowl of soup that smelled of rich, flavorful herbs. There were two slices of thick, toasted bread beside it. My stomach grumbled.
Did Ivy bring this up?
Had it been Caden?
I stared at the food for what felt like a small eternity, just like I had that morning. A sense of unease mingled with the hunger, leaving me vaguely nauseous. Trepidation was acid in my veins. A fine tremor coursed through my arm as I reached for the food. I didn’t realize what I was doing until I caught myself looking around the room, making sure…
Making sure it was empty.
No one was here. No one was going to hurt me. Aric was dead. I was safe.
I still hesitated.
God, I hated this—hated that I associated food with pain now. Eating was…well, it was a favorite pastime of mine. I loved to eat.
Cursing under my breath, I snatched up the plate. Creamy soup sloshed over the side of the bowl. I grabbed the spoon and started hauling the liquid into my mouth, not even slowing down to really enjoy it. I shoveled bread in next, chewing enough that I didn’t choke. Every time thoughts of Caden, Aric, of anything began to creep in, I shoved them aside. By the time the bowl was empty and only crumbs remained on the plate, the unease had faded to a shadow.
I placed my hand on my stomach. I needed to get over this whole food thing. I was eating for two now.
That thought caused a half-hysterical-sounding giggle and a stunning realization. I wanted a family. A husband. A child. It wasn’t something I’d ever really consciously acknowledged, and it wasn’t as if I believed one needed a significant other or offspring to make a family, but that was what I desired. I wanted to give a child what I didn’t have—a father who was alive and not just present or active in a child’s life, but also there. I wanted to be the mother that mine couldn’t be—at no fault of her own. The realization brought forth a wave of aching yearning for what I wanted so badly but could not have.
I waited until I was sure my stomach wasn’t going to revolt and then I rose, leaving the room. I already knew I couldn’t just sit in here like I’d done. If I did, my brain would start going down roads best not traveled. I needed to move around—do something. The faint glow of sunlight still crept under