of the Craptors,” I deadpanned, and he launched himself at me, tickling me into submission.
“I give! I give! Uncle!”
He stayed next to me as I continued the story and I curled into his hold, because the next part of this story wasn’t so easy to tell.
“We dated a while, but she was fragile, easy to cry, and I felt as if I couldn’t say anything to make her talk to someone, as if it wasn’t my place. The whole thing had almost run it’s course, but she…”
“What?”
“When I suggested we separate, she said she had no reason to live, I mean, what was I going to do? I could see her pain, and it wasn’t just on me, I know that, but before we could even come to terms with everything, she was picked up for the hockey girlfriend show. She started saying things on camera, sharing chats that friends had shared with me in confidence, or secrets about me, stupid secrets. She would never come out with anything directly, but it was insinuated, and when the episodes aired, well the shit hit the fan in the locker room. Any trust I had in there, with all these new guys, was gone and the room was toxic, so I got an ultimatum.”
“From Coach?”
“Coach? Yeah, him and the players, management, and the loss of two endorsement contracts that had once made the team look good. The message was clear, sort it out with Lacey. If I didn’t love her, then I should finish it, and get it done. Move on. I knew I didn’t love her, but to be so cold, that is not me.” I glanced up at him, realizing I needed him to believe me, to tell me that I wasn’t a bad guy.
“It’s not you, it never would be.”
That meant so much that I was stupidly happy, but maybe the rest of the story wouldn’t make him so proud.
“So I go and see her, she’s crying, and I can’t stand seeing people upset, and I hug her and we start to talk about life and how I felt, and then she tells me she’s pregnant.”
Vlad went incredibly still, where before he’d been stroking my back, his hand didn’t move and I felt him hold his breath. I was probably going to fuck things up now.
“Don’t hate me,” I murmured against his warm skin.
“Why would I hate you?” he choked out, but I could hear the gears in his head and I knew he had a hundred questions. “If there is a child then I will love it as yours.”
My heart filled. “I proposed, immediately, call me old-fashioned but I wanted my baby to have two parents. I tried really hard, but I wasn’t in love with her, but for the baby…”
“Ya ponimayu,” he murmured, and I didn’t know what it meant but it was reassuring. “I understand,” he added after a short pause.
“I wanted to go to every test, because even though I didn’t love her, I was convinced that one day I could make everything right. It was my baby as well. She convinced me that we should plan for the future, that she loved me, I even set up an account, put a million in, for the baby, for the future, I was so excited and I was blown away by it all. The secret made me play harder, and better, and I was carrying the team on my back just because I had this insane hope for the future.”
“That was the money you sent her, for your baby.”
“But there never was a baby,” I whispered. “She said she’d lost it, then a few days later she admitted she’d lied…” Emotion tightened in my chest, leaving it hard to breathe.
He went back to soothing strokes on my back. “I’m so sorry.”
“So the million became nothing more than a way to stop her talking. I didn’t want it back, and that was our understanding. Everything fell apart, with the team, Marco had known about the baby, the non-baby, she never corrected him. He lost it and wailed on me at a practice, and then told everyone I’d been the one responsible for her losing the baby, paying her off. Jesus, I just lay there and took it all.”
“Why?”
“Because Lacey… she’s…” Fuck, how the hell did I explain this? “There’s something about her, fragility, a sensitivity that maybe only I saw? She once told me she’d tried to take pills, to end everything. What could I do? I