even fucking trying.
“Stop me,” I snapped at him, and he skated backward and into position, this time fighting more, but I had him on the ropes, and if Colorado had been a shit goalie I would have gotten another goal.
I faced up to Vlad, caught his gaze, stared at him hard, daring him to fight. I was pissed now. I didn’t care what he thought was happening with us fucking, but messing with the game, that wasn’t on. I shoved him with my stick, caught him off guard, and he stumbled. The puck was on the ice between us and I shoved him again, and again, and each time he pressed back harder, until at last we had a battle to get the puck, and this time I had to work every muscle to get past him. With a last ditch poke of his stick he saved the puck and iced it to the other end where the team stood in clusters.
We were face-to-face, him staring at me impassively.
“Fuck you,” I said, although I kept it low enough so only he would hear. “Don’t you dare do this shit with me, okay?” I was defying him, telling him how angry I was, and there was nothing in his expression.
“Maybe you should stop staring at Tennant Madsen-Rowe then,” he bit out with unleashed fury, and then I could see him shut down, the temper subside, the control come back with a vengeance. Then he stared back at me, and god, I wanted to shove him again.
“What?” I honestly wasn’t sure I heard right.
“I won’t be second choice when I have so much to lose,” he murmured, as if it meant nothing to him that he was breaking my heart in the middle of the rink. He brushed past me and headed for Colorado who fist-bumped him and then, heads together, they chatted. What was Vlad saying to Colorado? Was it about us? I thought we were on the down-low?
Were being the operative word.
I skated back to Alex who stick-tapped my shin.
“Nice battle.”
I heard a couple of the other skaters wondering about what the hell was going on with their captain, and all I could feel was anger, misery, and guilt. It took me showering, then dressing, before I calmed down.
“Coffee?” Ryker asked.
“I’m okay—”
“Coffee,” he repeated, and I realized belatedly that this was some of messed-up intervention when Henry, Alex and Sam walked up to stand by me as well.
I gave in and we headed for The Coffee Bean, a local place with hidden corners and a ton of discretion, and I thought of anything to talk about that wasn’t Vlad, inevitably leading to the kid I’d met this morning.
“It was so cool, he was a huge hockey fan, says his favorite is Ryker.”
Ryker buffed his nails on his T-shirt. “Kid has good taste.”
Alex shoved at him. “Whatever, dude.”
“He plays as well.”
“Cool, we should go see his team, give them a few jerseys with a decent name on it,” Ryker teased, which this time earned a kick from me, under the table. At least Ryker was interested in knowing more and there was something intriguing about Lucas with his bright blue eyes and his excitement for hockey. “We do all kinds of outreach with kids’ teams here.”
“Yeah, we used to do that in Dallas.”
“This isn’t Dallas,” they all chorused, and then sniggered as if it was the funniest joke on the planet. I couldn’t help smiling, but shook my head as if it was too stupid to rise to it.
“Which team does he play for?” Alex asked
I couldn’t recall at first, “Something with slide in it?”
Ryker exchanged a look with Henry. “Mini-slide-Eagles maybe?”
“That’s it.”
“That’s a sled team,” he said, and smiled broadly, “such a good bunch of kids, all with their own issues, most of them unable to walk or with other disabilities but all hooked on hockey, I know that Coach Carmichael does some work with them.”
I didn’t know how to feel. The words sled hockey conjured up so many images, of bravery, and excitement, and finding new ways to play hockey. Was I sad that Lucas was maybe sick? Or unable to walk or—
“Stop thinking about the bad shit and come and see it for real,” Ryker murmured. “I’m up for a visit with Coach, getting involved, wanna come with me?”
I thought about my visits to the cancer ward, the ones no one knew about, where I tried my best to be what they needed me to be. But I