so many years. He was my first everything. No one had ever seen me... like that besides him, until today. And it was so… different. I felt different. Not weird different, but good different. Even before the cheating, there was always something off when Asher and I were together. But it wasn’t until I was with Cage today that I even noticed it. You know, when you don’t have anything to compare something to, you just accept it for what it is and assume it’s normal. But never, in all of the years I was with Asher, did I feel the way I did today.”
When I stop for a breath, I glance up to see her watching me so intently. “And how did you feel?” she asks.
I can’t believe I’m saying this to Anna of all people, but I am. “Sexy, desired… wanted…” I drift off and bite down on my lip at the way he spoke to me. “He called me beautiful.”
“Every woman should feel that way,” Anna says and it shocks me. “Oh, don’t look at me like that. I’m a woman too, you know. Just because I don’t talk about it doesn’t mean I don’t like sex.”
When I cover Matthew’s ears, Anna laughs.
“Stop,” she says with the most carefree expression that for a split-second I wonder where my friend went. Is this a case of the body snatchers? Have we had an alien invasion? “I know I was pretty unbearable before the baby, but hormones can really do a number on you.”
You think?
Her expression turns more solemn and she furrows those expressive brows, clasping her hands in front of her. “But Tempest,” she says gently, like she’s getting ready to break some bad news and I brace myself as she tilts her head to the side. “Don’t just jump into bed with the first guy that comes along and calls you beautiful. You are beautiful. And you don’t need a man to tell you that.” Sighing, she pauses. “Don’t give your heart away too soon. It’ll just set you up for more heartbreak and I don’t want that for you.”
I ignore the twinge in my chest.
“And I’m not as delusional as your mama,” she continues. “I know that you would never be able to trust Asher again, so I’m not praying y’all back together. I stopped that a long time ago.”
Did she just call my mama delusional?
I can’t disagree with that.
Matthew squirms in my arms and I shift to hold him a little closer, rocking until he settles back into a deep sleep.
“I’ve been doing some reading on moving on after a divorce,” she tells me and my head pops up. “What? I’m your best friend and I needed to be educated so I know how to help you navigate this time of your life.”
Looking down at the baby, I roll my eyes and have to fight back the urge to whisper to him that his mama is crazy, but it’s okay, because his Aunt Em will be here to be his voice of reason.
“Rebounds are typical,” she continues. “They’re normal… Even though I’m not an advocate of sex outside of marriage, I understand the need to… get back in the saddle. Your confidence was shattered and you need to get that back. I get that. So, let this just be that… a rebound.”
A rebound.
It’s not a foreign thought to me. Actually, it’s something that’s been niggling in my brain for a while, but I’ve shut it down, because I’ve been telling myself that Cage and I are friends. Which we are. But now that we’ve crossed the line, I don’t know what to think and I’m afraid that we won’t be able to go back and that sucks.
Tears prick my eyes and I blink them back, not even sure where they came from or why I’m feeling so emotional. I sniffle and lean forward to kiss Matthew’s hair, breathing him in.
“Oh, honey,” Anna coos, like I’m the baby. She walks over and wraps an arm around my shoulder and hugs me to her… again, so un-Anna.
I make a mental note to call Cole when I leave and make sure she doesn’t need some medication. Some women suffer from postpartum depression. Is there such a thing as postpartum cheerfulness? Because she’s kind of freaking me out.
But I don’t shrug off her hug, instead, I lean into it.
That’s what else I loved about today… just the contact, having someone hold me. I’ve missed that and I didn’t even