no plans about where I’m going, but I’ll see where the road takes me.
13
Haven
My blurry gaze follows Storm running as fast as he can to get away from me, and I feel gutted. I wrap my arms around myself in an attempt to comfort myself as the first tears spill from my eyes. Embarrassment and rejection fill me up like a bucket of sand, but it’s more than that. I’m hurt, and my emotions are getting the better of me, weighing me down.
“Haven,” the sound of my sister’s voice pulls my attention away from the front door.
“He doesn’t want me, Chapel.” More tears stream down my cheeks.
“I’m sorry.” She pulls me to her, hugging me and giving me the comfort I am searching for.
“It’s not—” Ace begins but quickly stops when Chapel shushes him.
I take a step away from Chapel. “I’m going to my room. I want to be left alone.”
“No.” Chapel shakes her head. “Have dinner with us. Ace is teaching me how to cook.”
I lightly laugh. “She gave you the same homework.” I start to exit the kitchen but pause and glance over my shoulder. “I’m not hungry anymore. Enjoy your dinner, and sorry about the mess.” I race for the stairs as my throat tightens, making it almost impossible to swallow. My nose stings as more and more tears are shed. By the time I reach my room, my breathing is labored and coming out as short pants. Throwing the door open, I slam it closed and fall onto my bed. I grab a pillow to hold over my mouth while I scream and cry out everything I am feeling without drawing any attention to myself.
Slowly, I open my eyes to a dark room. I must have cried myself to sleep. Blinking a few times to clear the sleep, I notice I’m not alone. An arm is lying across my stomach. I immediately recognize the feel of that arm because we’ve held each other through our darkest times.
Rolling over, I stare at my sleeping sister. My heart aches because even though we’ve been pulled away from each other to become independent, she is still here when I need her the most.
It’s been a week since the kiss, and neither Storm nor I have spoken a word about it. In addition, I didn’t complete my homework for this week. I sit on Kayla’s couch, anxiously waiting for her to ask me about it. I’m not sure why I’m more anxious about not finishing this homework. It’s not the first time I’ve had issues with my homework, and I doubt it will be the last. I stare around the room while she sits quietly across from me. My worried gaze drifts up to her. “Why are you so quiet? Why aren’t you asking me any questions?”
Kayla smiles kindly as always and sighs. “Because I can tell something is bothering you, Haven. I wanted to see if you would willingly open up to me on your own. You didn’t, so I know we aren’t at that level of trust yet. Let’s start with, how was your week? Did you complete your homework?”
I drop my head, casting it downward. “No, I didn’t complete my homework, and I had a terrible week. I tried, I did, but I failed.”
“There is no failing here, Haven. You tried. That’s all I can ask for. What happened?”
“Storm was teaching me how to make chicken strips, and we got into a playful fight with flour. It was fun, and I was laughing. He was too, and then something happened. He kissed me.” I touch my lips, remembering how it felt to have his pressed against mine, how it felt when his tongue slid alongside mine. My core aches for more, but I know that will never happen.
“What happened after he kissed you?”
I groan. “Ace barged into the kitchen, and Storm ran away. We haven’t talked about it, and he hasn’t tried teaching me to cook since.”
“How did it make you feel when he ran away?”
“Embarrassed, humiliated, sad, angry, not good enough.”
“All of those are normal emotions to experience in that situation, but why not good enough?”
“Because I’m not stupid, Kayla.” My voice rises, as does my anger. “I know he has sex with those women at the club. All the men do. That’s what they’re there for, right? They walk around in barely any clothes if any at all. It was the same way at those parties that Chapel and I were taken to. We walked