fly on the wall for that. Especially when Emelia moved to England and fell in love with Peter, of all people.”
“What are the odds.” Lacey huffed out a breath. She turned to find Anna smiling at her. A big Cheshire cat smile. “What?”
“Well, really, what are the odds?”
“You know what I mean.”
Anna held up a finger. “You meet Victor at a party six years ago and have a moment, as you call it. Then Emelia moves to England and falls in love with his brother.” Second finger. “Victor happens to work for the company you’re getting merged with.” Fingers three and four. “Then he happens to end up on the same team as you in Minnesota and then…” Her thumb came out. “You happen to get evicted together, and he happens to take a little side trip with you to meet your family. Who, I would like to note for the record, I haven’t even met.”
Anna wriggled her fingers around like she was at cheer camp. “I’m no mathematician, but I’d say those odds are beyond any rational explanation.”
Lacey knew exactly what Anna was getting at, and ordinarily, she wouldn’t take the bait. But nothing about this whole thing was ordinary. “So what? You think God just made this all happen? That’s he’s got some grand plan in all this?” The question shot out of her like it was a cuss word.
Anna paused, studied her. Took a considered sip of her drink. “It doesn’t matter what I think. What matters is why the idea that it’s possible bothers you so much.”
Lacey threw her hands in the air. “Because he has a daughter. Because we work for the same company. Because I’m going to be his boss. Because there is a massive rift in his family and Emelia’s on the other side of it.” But even as the excuses tumbled from her mouth, the real reasons simmered under the surface like lava. Because what she felt for Victor scared her. Because God couldn’t care about her. Not after everything. He certainly shouldn’t have forgiven her.
It’s all or nothing. Victor’s words reverberated from the pub. She knew he was right. Knew Anna was right. The chain of events was so unlikely that design made as much sense as accident. That didn’t mean she had to like it.
“What’s the real reason?” Anna asked softly from her perch. “Because we both know that even if Victor didn’t have a daughter, if you didn’t work for the same company, and if his family was just peachy, you would have another excuse. And that wouldn’t be the real reason, either.”
Lacey shoved her hands through her hair. Her wavy hair, because somewhere in the last few weeks she had stopped having tolerance for buying into her own sleek chemically altered brand. She was going to be CEO. Choosing her own hair was a self-designated perk.
“Lace?” Anna prodded. Anna didn’t use to prod. Before Cam died, Anna would have asked the question and backed away when she didn’t answer. But widow Anna had apparently decided that other peoples’ personal real estate came with her new territory.
“What?” Lacey didn’t know what to do with her hands. They twisted her hair around and around. Her eye twitched. Her left foot traced a semi-circle across the hard floor. On repeat. Like all the words that she had forced down inside for years were physically fighting against her skin to try and escape.
“Why won’t you let Victor love you?” Anna’s gaze refused to look away from her. Her brown eyes laced with steel.
“I …” The words choked her.
Anna sat, waiting. Her best friend, the woman who had lost everything in the last year. Who was flat broke but had somehow found the money to get on a plane because she knew Lacey needed someone. Even when she hadn’t even admitted it to herself.
That person sitting on her couch, deserved the truth.
Because I don’t know how.
Because I don’t deserve it.
Because giving up control always means losing.
The day Betsy changed her mind and decided to marry Mitchell, Lacey had made a solemn vow that she would never be like her sister. Never give enough of herself to anyone that she could never get it back. People might think they loved her, but she’d always curated the parts of herself that she’d let them see. Only let them love the parts of her that she chose to share. Charming Lacey. Smart Lacey. Driven Lacey. Loyal Lacey. Superficial Lacey. Even with Emelia, who knew her better