hate myself. “I miss her. So damn much, Milly. But I can’t. I can’t reach out to her. Even though it’s killing me not to.”
“I don’t want to sound mean, but—yeah. That’s just dumb.”
“You’re dumb.”
“Apologize. That’s not nice.”
“Sorry.” I blow out a breath. “I’m sorry. I’m just—”
“Not yourself?”
“Yeah.”
“Ever consider Annabel helps you feel at home in your skin? And that she might keep you happy here”—Milly pokes a finger into my chest—“and healthy here?”—that finger moves to my forehead.
I hadn’t considered that.
Is that why I feel so…disconnected? I did Bel wrong, and I despise myself for putting her through that. But is Milly right? Do I feel so lost and torn up because Bel was the one who kept me balanced? Kept me in check?
And does it even matter now that she’s gone?
We both look up at the sound behind us: the throaty, smoker’s-cough throb of a diesel engine.
My chest tightens when I see a familiar white pickup truck making its way around the lake.
I take a deep breath. I don’t want that tightness to spark to anger like it did last time Nate Kingsley was here. It’s a waste.
I’ve already wasted so much time and energy on stupid shit. On excuses that don’t hold water. I’m done making that mistake.
Squinting, I hold my hand to my forehead. “Any idea what he’s here for?”
She puts a hand on my shoulder. “Trust me?”
“Milly.” I give her a look. “What did you do?”
“Just hear him out. That’s all I ask. Okay?”
“Explain.”
“Well, for starters, the groom requested another case of Appalachian Red last minute. Apparently, they finished off the one they already ordered at the rehearsal dinner.”
I shake my head. “I thought everyone was kinda shit-faced last night.”
“Kinda? Try very. Least they didn’t make too much of a mess.”
“You shoulda told me,” I say. “About the extra case. I could’ve sent one of our guys down to the distillery to get it. You know I don’t like Nate coming around here.”
Milly rolls her eyes. “It will be worth your while.”
Scaling the small hill leading up from the lake, Nate tips his head at Milly, like he’s wearing an imaginary cowboy hat or something. The sudden politeness is jarring. What is happening? “Evening, Milly.”
“Hi, Nate. Thank you,” she says, surveying the bottles in the crate he holds out. “I can’t thank you enough for coming through on this, and so last minute. I owe you one.”
“You don’t owe me anything. Our pleasure. Place looks amazing, by the way.”
“Doesn’t it?” Milly beams. “We’re getting there.”
I stare. Since when do Milly and Nate get along like old friends?
But before I can ask the million questions I have, Nate’s eyes dart in my direction. “A word?”
“With me?”
“Yes.”
I look at Milly. She gestures for me to follow Nate, imploring me with her eyes to behave.
“It’s all right, Milly,” Nate says.
She smiles at him. “Thank you. Again.”
He watches her disappear into the pavilion, along with the two assistants she called over to help with the whiskey.
“Your sister,” he says, sliding his hand into the front pocket of his jeans. “I really admire her.”
“She’s something special,” I say.
Nate scuffs his booted foot against the grass. Looks down. It hits me that he’s nervous.
“You and me, I know we don’t get along,” he begins.
“Not for lack of trying on my part. This is ridiculous, you and your family holding a grudge against us for God knows what infraction committed by God knows what ancestor.”
“I know.” He looks up, looks me in the eye. “That’s my fault, and I’m sorry.”
I scoff. Can’t help it. “Really? That’s a total one-eighty from the last time we talked.”
“I know.” Nate’s a serious man, and he’s being serious now. “Look, I’m just gonna come out with it. I’d like your permission to date Milly. We’ve been in touch recently—well, she reached out to me, and, uh, things kinda developed from there. But we’ve been talking, and I really do enjoy her conversation.”
I narrow my eyes. So that’s who Milly’s been texting with. Sexting. Whatever.
Lord above. It’s so absurd it might as well be a plotline from a soap opera.
“You pullin’ my chain?”
“I’m serious, Beau. I know it sounds crazy. But there it is.”
I chew on my bottom lip as I search his face. “Even if I said yes, you’d have to convince Milly. I know better than to speak for my sister, but I get the feeling she wouldn’t be interested. In fact, I think she’d probably kick your ass to the curb.”
“I came to you