I listen to myself, for a change, and put those thoughts away for now. Ryan is what he appears to be, I decide. We’re having a terrific time. Why am I looking to ruin it?
Once we’re back in his car, my nerves kick in again. My heavy dinner sits like lead in my stomach, and now my chest feels tight, too. I haven’t felt this way about anyone in a very long time, and I’m way out of practice. Ryan turns on the radio and a slow jazz tune, marked by a soulful saxophone, plays softly from the speakers. I like the song even if I don’t know anything about jazz. The glow from the dashboard reveals the lines of Ryan’s strong handsome face. Before I know it, we’re back in my driveway. “Would you like to come in?” I ask. Although I think it’s a given in both our minds that he will.
Tiger has planned a sneak attack greeting, but when he hears an alien voice in the entryway, he carefully reveals himself before dashing away, up the stairs. “That was a cat, right?” Ryan asks.
I nod.
“I guess I have to earn his trust, too,” he grins, raising his eyebrows at me.
Immediately, I think of his questionable business trip again. “I’m afraid so.” I chide back, forcibly burying my doubts. I usher Ryan inside as I walk around and turn on lights.
“Your place is really nice,” he comments, looking around.
“Thanks. Can I get you something to drink?” I offer turning toward the kitchen only to realize that I don’t have wine or coffee or anything but water to give him.
“What have you got?” he asks so close to my ear that I nearly jump.
“Not much,” I reply, turning to face him.
He is wearing a sly smile. “I’d have to disagree with that.” Then his hand moves to my lower back and he gently pulls me to him. Suddenly, he’s kissing me. His arms wind around me, and I bring my own hands up along his chest and then higher as I run my fingers through his thick hair and press myself against him. Heat radiates off his body, and his arms tighten as he lifts me to my toes. The pure tactile pleasure produced by the intimate touch of another human being flows through me. It has been too long since I’ve felt this way. His scent surrounds me, and I can feel that this is different. He’s unlike anyone who came before him. From far away, the ringing of my cell phone permeates the haze into which I’m happily sinking. I ignore the ringing.
When I hit the refrigerator with a thud, Ryan finally breaks the kiss. He looks around, taking in his surroundings and appearing embarrassed as he realizes he has just backed me into the refrigerator door. I take his hands as I look toward the living room. “Let’s move in there,” I suggest. I’m really thinking let’s take this to the bedroom, but there’s plenty of time for that.
As we pass my purse sitting on the floor in the entryway where I dropped it on the way in, my cell phone rings yet again. I begin to worry that it might be important. I reluctantly remove my hands from Ryan’s. “It keeps ringing. I’d better see who it is,” I say apologetically.
He nods and continues into the living room, giving me privacy for my call. I smile as I notice that his hair is in complete disarray due to me.
I fish inside my purse and withdraw my still ringing cell phone. The number on the caller ID belongs to Katie.
“He’s gone,” she blurts out after my hello.
“What?” I ask, trying to clear my head.
“Mike. He left. He said he needs time to think about things.” Her voice is tremulous. She’s crying.
“You’re saying Mike left you?”
“No, not exactly. He packed a bag and said he needed to get away. To think.”
“Think about what?”
“I don’t know. He just said things. But of course he meant me. And the baby.”
“Oh no, Katie.”
“Do you think you could come over?” she asks softly.
I take a breath and close my eyes. “Of course.”
She sniffles into the phone. “You don’t mind? It’s pretty late.”
“No, I don’t mind.”
“Thanks, Andy.”
I lean against the wall, staring at my cell phone, not surprised by Mike’s leaving, and thinking about the man waiting for me in my living room. But now I can’t silence the voice in my head any longer, the one that tells me to listen