about the baby as a way to trap him into staying with me. Can you believe that?”
When I don’t answer because I don’t know what to say, she continues.
“I know what you’d do if you were me,” she says quietly. “You’d confront him about Bryn, kick him out of the house, tell him about the baby, and in the same breath tell him to go to hell.”
I can’t help but laugh. “That’s me, kicking ass and taking names.”
Katie laughs, too. “You would though.”
“I don’t know. I talk a good game, but I’m the one who’s usually alone when everyone else is in a relationship. I’m not sure my example is a good one to follow.”
Suddenly she blurts out, “I’m so angry at him. This could be such an amazing time for us, and he’s wrecked it.”
Because I helped with the wreckage, I find myself apologizing and then trying to look on the bright side. “It’s not wrecked. You guys definitely need to do some serious talking. But I can be happy about the baby, right? You’re going to be a mom. That’s pretty incredible.”
“Yeah, it is,” she replies, her voice sounding strained now, like she’s trying to hold back tears.
“I can help you, you know? I’m a great babysitter. I babysat for my sister all the time growing up.”
“Careful what you offer. I’ll likely take you up on it.”
“I don’t offer what I can’t deliver.”
“I had a glass of wine when we went to Café Blue,” she says.
“What?”
“I was pregnant then, and I had a glass of wine.”
“Did you know you were pregnant?”
“No.”
“Then it doesn’t count. Besides, our mothers smoked and drank and did god knows what else when they were pregnant with us. We’re not too screwed up.”
“Speak for yourself.”
“You’re not screwed up. You’re going to be a great mom.”
“I guess. I have my first OB appointment this week.”
I try to do some quick math in my head. “So, you’ll be due sometime in the spring. That’s a perfect time to be on maternity leave.”
She laughs. “You’re way ahead of me. I’m going day by day with this.”
“Good idea. One day at a time,” I assure her, but I feel dazed. Katie, who I’ve known since freshman year of college, is going to be a mom. “It’s going to be fine,” I tell her.
“How do you know?”
“Because I know you.”
“That doesn’t help.”
“I know. But it’s still true.”
She sighs. “I’d better go. I’m always exhausted these days. I can hardly keep my eyes open past nine.”
“I think that’s pretty normal. Call me tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Congratulations.”
“Thanks.”
I hang up the phone and stare off at nothing. I feel too shell-shocked to concentrate on my book anymore. Tiger jumps back up and nudges his head into the palm of my hand. I give him what he wants, and he turns into a purring machine. I feel like calling my mother, but it’s long past my parents’ usual bedtime. I feel too restless to stay in bed any longer.
I slip out of bed, walk downstairs to the living room with Tiger trailing at my heels, and turn on the television. After flipping through the channels, I land on a very familiar black and white courtroom scene staring Gregory Peck. I stay up long past midnight watching To Kill A Mockingbird, completely engrossed in the story I have admired since childhood. I haven’t turned on the lights, and bright images projected from the television dance across the walls.
When the movie ends, I’m finally ready for the day to be over.
twelve
“Running late this morning,” Joan says as I buzz past her. Staying up late to watch a movie means I practically needed a crowbar to pry me out of bed this morning. I also have a strange looking red mark with uneven edges in the middle of my forehead. I’m guessing it’s a spot I missed with the sun block yesterday, and it stings like crazy this morning. How did I miss the middle of my forehead? Now, every time I wrinkle it, which I’ve discovered I do with surprising frequency, I have a physical reminder of my day with Ryan.
Nate is back from paternity leave. When I arrive, he’s already sitting at his desk across from mine. I drop my purse and laptop bag in a heap by my chair. “Hey,” I say by way of a greeting.
“Hey, yourself.” He’s dressed in his usual uniform of khaki shorts, Birkenstocks, and a T-shirt with an interesting saying. Today it reads, Support human cloning. Two heads are better