jaw, just below the bruising. I stroke the stubble. “You think you’ve got a cold?”
He reaches out for me and pulls me closer. “Just come here...” He tries to tuck me up against him.
“K.—we need to call someone.”
His eyes squeeze shut. “Nothing…to…tell them.”
“I can see the pulse ox and hear how breathless you are. Talk to me.” I stroke his burning brow and feel a sheen of sweat. I look into his eyes in time to see them swim with tears.
“Oh... K. You feel really bad, huh? I’m sorry. Just let me call Arethea and we’ll figure out what’s up.”
He shakes his head, and one tear spills down toward his nose.
I brush it off and lean to touch his temple with my lips. I smooth my palm over his hot forehead and Kellan grabs my forearm. “Cleo—please. Don’t call... please. Not yet.” He grasps at me. He wraps an arm around me, pushing me from behind, pushing my backside against his dick.
“I want to be inside you... I need it. Cleo please.” His voice cracks, and I know I have to call Arethea. “Kellan, you can. I swear, I’ll ride you just as soon as you have oxygen, okay? We have to call. We have to let them know.”
His hand comes up to his face, and my chest aches. “Kell... You’re so strong... you’re doing so well. I love you.” I reach for the bed’s remote, with the call button.
His hand grips my elbow. “Cleo—no.” He pushes up, half sitting. He looks pale and dizzy. “Don’t call. Please. Hold me… I need you. Cleo, trust me—please.”
I scoot back toward him, wrapping my arm around him even as I press the nurse call button.
“Yes?” It’s Arethea’s voice, thank God.
“Hey, could you come here please? Something’s up—we need your help.”
“Of course.”
I look down at Kellan. He’s wrapped both arms around me and his head is on my thigh. I’m sitting cross-legged but I shift us so we’re lying face-to-face on our sides. I wrap an arm around him... kiss his fingers.
“You’re okay. Don’t be scared... I’m here. I’ll be with you.” I smooth my palm over his hair... behind his neck. Good God, he’s warm. I feel his back shake and my heart stops.
“Baby... Hey...” I try to lift his face but he won’t move. He’s crying.
Arethea bursts in at that second and I’m so confused. She’s flanked by several doctors from our team: the pulmonologist, the infectious disease expert, the trial coordinator, and finally, a few seconds later, Dr. Willard himself. Their faces are grim.
My eyes fly to Arethea’s, questioning. Her face is careful. “Oxygen,” I manage.
She nods, then looks at Willard.
“Kello, baby... It’s okay.” I kiss his forehead. Something’s very wrong. I’m not sure I want to know.
Dr. Willard steps to the bed as Kellan curls up to me.
“Cleo—I spoke with Kellan yesterday, while you were meeting with Arethea about an outing.”
“What?”
“You ever heard of CMV pneumonia?” he drawls.
“No.” I look at the crew at the foot of our bed. “What is it?”
They explain. He caught it from my blood. My blood was positive from CMV when he received the transplant.
“We’ve been monitoring him since then. It came up on his blood work recently, and now he’s started showing symptoms. We’ll need to do some imaging to really know but—”
“If it is, what will you do for it?”
“We’ve already started treating it with antivirals,” Willard tells me. “It’s a virus.”
“And?”
“It all depends on Kellan.” He looks over at Arethea, then at Kellan’s pulse ox stats. His pulse is 112 and his blood oxygen level is 95 now.
“This is all that he can have,” she says.
Fuck.
Dr. Willard looks into my eyes. “What he’s got is serious. But I think he could beat it. Might have to spend some time on ventilation, but—”
That’s all I hear.
A ventilator. Kellan on a ventilator.
Arethea rubs my shoulder as the doctor shakes his head. “I’ll be honest, I’ll be real surprised if we don’t need to try the vent with him, we’re on full-blast here and we can’t pull a 97, 98... It’s not what I’d prefer to see. But Kellan’s strong. He can come through this.”
I look down at him but I can’t see his face. His arm clutches around my middle.
I take a few deep breaths and start my questions. Forty minutes later, all the doctors leave.
Kellan kisses me. “You said.” His eyes are tired. “I want to be inside you.”
“You’ve got a CT scan in thirty minutes.”
He shakes his head, his grip on