myself.
I climb up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist. I press my cheek against the firm plane of his back. In his sleep, Kellan sighs gently.
WHEN YOU ADD IT ALL UP, it’s never enough. It wasn’t enough with any of the others, and it’s fuck sure not with Cleo.
I watch her sleep. I stroke my dick and dream of sliding it inside her.
I’m not going to.
She doesn’t know it, but our time is up.
When I wake up in the canopied bed, I have no idea what time or even what day it is. Wasn’t Kellan in here with me? He was... I remember, but he’s not now. I’m alone. The window wall in front of me is dark, which makes it easy to see the flashing of my cell phone.
I hope for him until I see the number: (800) 627-7692.
Ugh. I quickly debate answering, and decide I will because I think it may be the Albany power company. One of the last times I went home, I dropped by the office and changed the phone number on my house’s account from Grans’ to mine. This way if they’re late on the bill, I can pay off some of it, so when Grans or Mom gets the money to pay it, it’s less than they expected.
I swallow, clearing the sleep from my throat. “Hello?”
“May I speak with Autumn Whatley?”
I slide off the bed, eager to go in search of Kellan. “This is Autumn—otherwise known as Cleo.”
“Hi, my name is Cindy and I work with Be The Match.”
My heart stops. At least, it feels that way. I urge my lungs to breathe again and lean against the bed. “Um... yeah?” The word cracks.
Fuck fuck fuck...
“I’m calling to request a preliminary evaluation. Our records indicate you might be a match for someone on our roster. Would you be willing to undergo basic testing in the next few days, understanding we may make additional requests pending results?”
I let my breath out. “That’s why you called?”
“We’re on an expedited timeline, so we’re asking that you act on this as soon as possible.”
I nod slowly, letting this sink in. It’s been years since I heard from them. I never thought I would again. Not unless... I shake my head. “Sure... that’s fine. No problem. If I am a match, I would... go through this again?” Would it be to the same person? My pulse races.
“If you are a match, you would be called upon again. I see here in your records that you’ve done this before.” There’s a brief pause, in which I try to breathe. Then she says, “Are there any other questions, Cleo? We’re so glad that you’re a part of Be The Match.”
I inhale deeply. Exhale. Let my two-ton question tumble forth. “Can you tell me anything about Robert?”
“Robert?” she echoes.
“You don’t know the name of my last match?” My tone is sharper than I intended, but I find I don’t care.
I hear a brief pause, followed by loud typing. “What information are you requesting, Miss Whatley? I’m limited by—there are rules in place to—”
“How is he?” I whisper.
I hear a delicate clearing of her throat. “It looks like... mmhmm. I can see your chart is marked with blue—which means you’ve been flagged based on your file from last time.”
My stomach hollows out. “Are you saying that I’m being called again as a match for R.—Robert, I mean? Could I be matched with him again?”
Silence fills the line. “What’s the last report you received on Robert D., Miss Whatley?”
I clamp my teeth down on my tongue. “I haven’t gotten one. Not since a while back. That’s why I’m asking. It’s been really bugging me, the silence from him.”
A heavy sigh comes through my phone. My throat tightens. My stomach heaves, and I just know. I can feel the bad news coming like a train. “Cleo. I’m so sorry to inform you, your last match is listed as deceased.”
“Deceased?” The word makes no sense. Less than no sense.
“I’m sorry that you didn’t know. We don’t want to discourage—”
Her voice sounds like it’s underwater. I hang up the phone.
Eight forty-three PM, my phone says.
I sit down on the rug. I wait for tears, but they don’t come. My face feels like a slab of wood. My heart thumps painfully.
I check Kellan’s bedroom first, peeling the blanket away from the wall so I can examine the hidden door. As I dash downstairs, I wonder why I’ve never asked what’s in there. I wonder