We’re all we have.
“Do you know when you’ll be going on a grocery run?” she asks tentatively.
“Soon. Just make up a list like always,” I tell her, pushing my bowl away from me. Elijah catches my movement, slowly puts his spoon down, and pushes his bowl away as well. Mark follows suit.
“It’s just…we’re low on bacon.” Nicolette holds her spoon over her half-finished stew.
“Well, I suppose you’ll have to use that brain of yours to figure out how to make it stretch until I get into town.” I harden my tone enough for her to understand I can’t be pushed into doing what she wants. She’s not the ruler in this house. I am.
Daddy let Mama rule the roost at first. She made the rules, dictated to everyone what needed doing, even to Daddy. The house was miserable, the tension so thick all the time.
“Yes, Papa.” She lowers her gaze and drops her spoon into her bowl.
“Eggs and bacon for breakfast tomorrow,” I confirm.
“Yes, Papa.” She nods.
“Good.” I turn my attention to Elijah. “Are you ready to give your apology?” I ask him. His eyes widen a fraction. He’s eager to get rid of his guilt, and until he’s made his apology and I’ve accepted it, it will weigh on him.
“Yes, Papa.” He straightens his back. Good boy. He’s remembering the talk we had earlier. He can’t be soft. He has to be man, and men take their licks, admit their wrongdoings, and make things better. One day, he’ll make a great husband for Nicolette, the same way I did for Madeline, but he’s still learning what that means.
“Good.” I turn to Nicolette. “Don’t forget the clothes on the line. It’s due to rain over night.”
“Yes, Papa.” She toys with the end of her spoon. She’s lost a little weight in the last month. Her cheeks sink in.
“Finish your supper, Nicolette. Then finish your chores.” Her eyes sparkle with my generosity.
“Thank you, Papa.” She grabs the spoon, but waits before digging back in.
“C’mon, Elijah.” I get up from the table, waiting for Elijah as he pushes back his chair. “Mark, remember what I told you earlier. I’ll be checking.” I give him a stern look, but it’s not really needed. Mark’s my oldest, and he’s taken my lessons over the years seriously.
“I will, Papa,” Mark promises. He glances at Nicolette, love blooming in his gaze.
Confident my children will follow my instructions, I leave the kitchen. Elijah’s behind me as I climb the stairs to the second floor of our simple home. It’s not much, but it’s everything we need. His footsteps fall softly on the wood stairs behind me.
I pass Nicolette’s room on the right, and Mark’s on the left. Daddy may not approve of me allowing them to have their private areas, but it’s the one area I’ve spoiled them a little. When I get to Elijah’s room, I stand aside, letting him enter first. It’s important he goes first. His apology needs to be heartfelt and true. It can’t be forced.
He passes me, his head high and gaze fixed straight ahead. This isn’t the time for shame; this is the time to have pride in taking responsibility for his actions. He’s learning well, even if we have to repeat this lesson a few more times.
“Papa, I want to apologize,” Elijah says, standing at the foot of his bed. I move to stand in the doorway and look at him. He’s gotten so big over the years, too large to take over my knee anymore. At eighteen, he stands the same height as me, even has a bit more muscle thanks to all the work he does around our little homestead up in these mountains. Even with his build and strength, he’s smart enough to know he’s not the man of the house yet. He still needs to follow my rules; he still has a few lessons to learn.
“Elijah,” I step inside the room, “do you remember me telling you about my house growing up?”
“Yes, sir. I do.” He nods, his hands going to his belt.
“Not yet, son.” I shake my head. We can’t rush the lesson. “And what do you remember?”
He drops his hands to his sides, his fingers fidgeting. “That when you were young, you and Mama didn’t get along. You fought all the time, and it made grandpa stressed.”
“That’s right. We didn’t listen to the rules, we fought, and we were greedy. We weren’t treating each other with the love we had. But then my daddy