think if we do this enough that someday, I will be able to focus and break free.”
“Your soul is already much brighter, Starr.”
She smiled, sat on the bunk, and patted the cloth. “Sleep with me.”
He folded himself around her and into the bed. She pulled on his shirt, leaving her bottom tantalizingly uncovered. The bunk was too small, and she lay against his shoulder with their knees and legs interlocked.
“It’s different, isn’t it? Being nude under the water and on the surface.”
He brushed his fingertips over her rounded derriere and to her mid-thigh where his shirt ended. “Yes.”
“I feel cozy and safe for the first time in a really long time. If I had this every day, then I think that I could give up the shield and become normal.”
“You can have this every day. As much as you want.”
She hooked her thigh over his and sighed.
This was the weight of his soul mate. Her body, peaceful and healthy, pressed against his. This was how she must always be.
This was how he would be if he turned away from the bitterness. Turned away from the unfairness and regrets of his past.
Have you ever considered cutting them off?
“What if they did not grow back?” he murmured.
“Hmm?” Starr roused with a yawn. “Your thumbs?”
“Or what if they twisted the same way?” He flexed his misaligned thumbs, and they moved uselessly toward his wrists. “Perhaps this is my destiny.”
“Mm. That fear is what drove me to therapy.” She splayed a hand across his chest. “But I haven’t taken a full deep breath in as long as I can remember, and just now I realized something miraculous. I can smell you.”
He tried to lower his arm so she did not rest her nose close to his armpit. “The queens have spoken of this body odor. It is a surface problem the mer are unfamiliar with. I am sorry.”
“It’s different when it’s someone you really like.” She forced his arm up, nuzzled his ticklish armpit, and giggled. “It’s a whole new world. Shifting to the mer and seeing the huge ocean world with my own eyes was so overwhelming that I don’t think I really took it in. But suddenly noticing this small change and realizing what I’ve gone without for years has filled the black-and-white lines of my life with color.”
“Because of the odor?”
“Because I can breathe. It’s like suddenly realizing I’m not angry, or realizing I’m not scared. It happened so slowly, I didn’t notice it until it hit me. I didn’t think I changed when I drank the elixir and kissed you, but this is big.”
“You have changed.”
“And I have to want to embrace it. What new miracle will happen when I let more feelings into my life?”
Her question echoed in his mind. “When you come to Atlantis and become my bride, you will get all of your powers and more. You’ll be able to do anything you want. Defend the city, control your powers.”
“You’ve seen so many queens, it probably feels ordinary to you.”
That was partially true.
You should say what you think, Gailen.
He had almost left her tonight because he thought she didn’t want him. Being useful and obedient was ingrained in him. He wanted to get along, no matter how much it hurt.
That had to change.
He spoke to the inner feelings. “Do not worry that this is only new to you, Starr. You are changing me too.”
She glowed brighter in response.
He was so used to having broken thumbs that he forgot what it was like to have full use of his hands. And he was so used to being frustrated by all the things he couldn’t do that he forgot to be satisfied with what he could.
Starr opened his world too. He had more options than he thought. She thought he could change any time he wanted. And if he didn’t? She thought he was worthy even with these thumbs.
“Tomorrow is going to be a big day.” She yawned again. “I can feel it.”
“I do not know how I can help, but I will try.”
“You help me just by being here and existing.” She hugged him.
It made his chest ache.
Because they were both so broken in their own ways, but together, they were able to fill in each other’s cracks.
“You are going to help me so much tomorrow.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “Because tomorrow, we’re going after the last connection point. And if I’m right, it’s the reason someone set me adrift and tried to kill me.”
He’d