a man as reserved and uninvolved as she was. Their first sexual encounter had been awkward, but an acceptable start. He’d disagreed. It was too much effort to be with her.
Gailen was nothing like that man.
He stood before her totally vulnerable, and she couldn’t do the same for him.
No, she must do the same for him.
She held out both hands. “A kiss?”
He slowly leaned forward, his gaze darting over her face, giving her every opportunity to pull away. Her body throbbed before they even touched. And then his mouth covered hers. Dizzying heat filled her veins, and even though she expected it, the sudden combustion made her swoon into his arms. His big hands slid around her back, powerfully containing her, and he seated their lips more perfectly, meshing their bodies into one. She opened her tingling lips to his liquid possession, and…
Tingling?
Oh no.
Her chest squeezed.
It was not an allergy. She was not allergic to Gailen. It was just excitement.
Excitement that triggered panic and wrapped her in cool, emotionless plastic.
Gailen pulled back. “Starr…”
“I know. I’m sorry.” She pulled back, puffed out in irritation, and grabbed handfuls of her hair. “It’s my disorder. Whenever I feel too strongly, it’s triggered. And you make me feel strong emotions.”
He stood, agonizingly beautiful, in the center of her room. “What do you want me to do?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Do you not want me?”
“I do. But I can’t jump in. I need to…”
“What?”
She felt her way to a possible answer. “Ease in? I think that will help.”
“What you want me to do?” His favorite question.
But it forced her to be the one to lead.
He wanted to love her the way she needed to be loved. She could lean on him, physically and emotionally, and he accepted her weight. It made her heart ache for him even more.
The aching was risky. She wobbled, in danger of shutting down.
But he just waited. If she shut down for an hour, he would wait as he had on the boat. If she shut down for a day? Same. If she shut down for an eternity?
Yes, he would wait even for an eternity.
She was worth an eternity to him.
And so she was able to breathe through her fears and return to solid ground. “Just stand there.”
He stood. A proud warrior. The soft T-shirt fabric stretched across broad shoulders, muscular pectorals, and fell gently to his tapered waist. The curve of his thick cock made a rugged male seam against the Bermuda shorts.
He was beautiful and strong. Powerful and broad. And so patient.
Her heart swelled.
The protective film slipped around her.
But she pushed it back. I don’t need you. She wanted to feel this. Feel him.
That was the problem with the shield. It never let her choose.
But still, he stood waiting for her to find her way back out of the maze she had created in her own mind.
She reached out and touched the back of his hand.
He turned his palm to link their fingers.
“No.”
He released her again.
She trailed curious fingers over his flexible wrist, up his taut forearm to the bony elbow, and over the bulging muscles of his biceps. Swirling orange lines interlocked and captured her with vivid fascination. He flexed, and the lines stood out in sharp relief.
“You’re so strong.”
He wiggled his thumbs. Bitterness flashed across his face before being replaced by acceptance. “Only you think so.”
“Don’t mermen heal? The Life Tree sap runs through your veins.” She rested her hand on a small scar at his shoulder. “Am I wrong?”
“You are right.” He watched her fingertips touching him. His irises glimmered with iridescence and the intensity of his feelings. “Most warriors do heal, but sometimes the injuries are too severe. Another warrior, Faier, suffered from terrible scars until he met his soul mate.”
“So now that you’ve met me, you’ll heal.”
Gailen frowned. “My thumbs are already healed, just the wrong way.”
“Have you ever considered cutting them off?”
His eyes widened. “Cutting them off?”
“If the bone sets crooked, a doctor might rebreak it so it can heal right. Since mermen can regrow missing limbs, why not?”
“Then I could not help the warriors during their time of need.”
“You already feel like you’re not able to help them, though.”
“I am not the one who…” He darkened. “Do they bother you?”
“No, of course not.”
He lightened. “We have been attacked several times, and although I do not have the same abilities as the other warriors, I have managed to fight back. That is enough for now.”
And the other warriors thought he wasn’t fit? How could they?
But then