they passed, and carried severed heads on poles, all the while howling praises to their god Lugh, and the glories of destruction. They all had mad, happy eyes and broad smiles. Yet many of them were still wearing wristwatches, which was a bit of a give-away that they weren't quite as primitive as they were affecting. Well, I thought, I've got to start somewhere.

I rose from behind the dead ambulance and strode forward to confront the mob. They stumbled to a ragged halt, almost falling over each other. I got the impression it had been some time since anyone had done anything but take one look at them and run away screaming. Their leader fixed me with his best mad stare, and started screaming something nasty about blasphemers, and I walked right up to him and kicked him square in the balls. I put a lot of strength and all my displeasure at what had happened into that kick, and it actually lifted him a few inches into the air before dropping him to his knees. His eyes got very big, and though his mouth was working, not a sound came out of it. He looked like he'd be pretty busy for some time, trying to get some or indeed any air back into his lungs, so I turned my attention to the crowd before me. They looked at their fallen leader, then back at me, and some actually started to shuffle their feet guiltily.

"I am John Taylor," I announced loudly, giving them my best disturbing smile. The people at the front of the mob immediately tried to press backwards, away from me, but the ones behind them were having none of it. There was a certain amount of undignified scuffling. I raised my voice again. "Whatever you've been doing, it stops, right here and now. I have work for you."

"And what if we don't feel like working for you?" said a voice from somewhere at the back of the crowd. "You can't kick us all in the balls."

"Right," said someone else. "We can take him! He's only one man!"

I had to smile. I love it when they say things like that. "You may have heard about this little trick I do," I said. "Where I take the bullets out of guns."

Some of the mob began to stand a little straighter. Axes and machetes and knives were brandished.

"Guns?" said a woman, who would definitely have looked a lot better with her clothes on. "We don't need no stinking guns!"

I could feel my smile broadening. "I've been working on a new variation," I said.

I snapped my fingers, and all the fillings disappeared from their teeth. Along with all crowns, caps, bridges, and veneers. There were a great many howls of muted pain, an awful lot of clapping of hands to mouths, and suddenly everyone in the mob looked a whole lot less crazy and entirely willing to listen to whatever I had to say.

"Any more words of dissent," I said, "and I will show you another variation, that involves your lungs and a whole bunch of buckets."

Somewhat garbled voices hastened to assure me that they were all ready and willing to assist me in anything I might want done. So I set them to defending those people who were trying to fight the fires.

I left them to it and set off down the street, stepping carefully around and over the cracked and raised pavement. The air was painfully hot on my face from all the fires, and the smoky air was thick with floating cinders. Fighting was still going on, in fits and starts, but no-one bothered me. I stopped as I came to a club I recognized, the lap-dancing joint Not Fade Away. The ghost girls were out in force, using their smoky bodies to smother any flames that threatened their club's already scorched facade. The barker kept them moving, his tired and strained voice still rising easily over the general din. He nodded brusquely in my direction as I went over to join him.

"Club's closed, for redecoration," he growled out of the corner of his mouth. "We will reopen. Look for our ads."

"How long is it since I was last here?" I asked him.

"About a week, squire. Just before all this unpleasantness started. Now unless you've got something useful to contribute, be a nice gentleman and bog off. The ladies and I are busy."

I used my gift to find somewhere it was raining heavily, and brought the rain to