a witch. A witch who needs a fucking cup of coffee and some aspirin." I motioned at Marge and made the universal symbol for 'I need some fucking coffee' by pouring an imaginary pot into an imaginary cup. Either she would know what I was talking about or get a good laugh at my mime skills. She grabbed four mugs and a fresh pot and headed toward us. Apparently, I didn't suck at charades.
"You're more than that, and you know it, Master." She said the words almost reverently. I didn't like it. Not one bit.
"I'm just Dot."
All three of them laughed. It was probably a good thing. I could feel the vampiric tension leave the room. Thankfully, I wasn't sitting close enough to the others to smell their fear. The fear I could feel. Luckily, the feeling didn't set off my fangs and hunger.
"So, what does this mean?"
"It means that you have a lot more on your plate than you thought, Lady Dorothea." Yuki bowed her head.
"Oh, you just knock it the fuck off, Yuki." I reached across the table and bopped her over the head with the tips of my fingers. The calmed vampires' fear swelled inside my head as they backed the whole table a little farther away from us, scrunching against each other like minnows in a bucket. "Relax," I shouted across the diner. "That was a play tap. I'm not going to hurt her or any of you."
Marge dropped the pot of coffee.
The rest of the diners, the human ones, stared at me like I'd lost my mind. Which I was about three seconds from doing.
"What's goin' on, Darlin'?"
"They want to make me the leader of their youth production of Romeo and Juliet but think I'm too mean to be a good director."
"Yeah. Sure. Let me get this cleaned up and get another pot of coffee. Sorry, you scared me!"
"Sorry, Marge."
"Hungry?"
"Pie. Double."
She nodded in understanding. If I had a drug addiction, it was pie. At least I only indulged when the shit hit the fan. With the way my life had been going, I was running a serious risk of getting fat. "I'll have it right out."
She left us sitting there, Yuki trying very hard to stifle her giggles. Miguel brought a broom and swept up the glass and then cleaned up the coffee with a mop.
"This is just perfect."
"I know this causes you discomfort, Lady Dorothea. Some of us were afraid, too. Some still are." Amir nodded at an uncomfortable looking George. "But this will be a good thing."
"What will?"
"Having a lord who will do right by us, not exploit us or others for personal gain."
"I'll speak to your mother and my father," George told Yuki and stood up. "I shall inform the others, as well. My lady," he said to me, bowed low, and headed back to the table of vamps.
"He's pissed," I said, not caring if he could hear me or not.
"Well, his father or my mother should have become the next lord of the clan."
"To have a witch is probably a little insulting."
"Not so much insulting as it is a financial nightmare."
"What?"
She laughed and Amir patted my arm in sympathy. "You don't understand," Yuki said with a sad smile.
"Understand what?"
"You get it all."
"All what?"
"Everything. The houses, cars, boats, and limos. Hell, even the blood banks will go to you."
"I don't want them," I answered adamantly just as Marge returned with a pot of coffee, pouring cups for all three of us.
"You don't get a choice, Lady Dorothea."
"Yuki, if you call me that again, I'm going to flog you with spaghetti. Dot. My name is Dot."
"Yes, Master."
Marge giggled. "Pie will be done in a minute. I'll bring it out. Carry on."
Covering my face with my hands, I rubbed vigorously. Shadow walking to the far side of the moon seemed like a better and better idea every minute. Every time I turned around, I was in charge of something, or someone, else. My mother had one coven and it turned her into a raving lunatic. Nana, too. I had a coven, a dark elf, an elf, a couple of races, and a godly sphere. There was no way I was going to get through everything with my sanity intact. I'd be drooling by Wednesday.
I didn't realize I was staring at the teal Formica top of the table until there was a piece of pie blocking my view. "Thanks, Marge," I said without looking up.
Then a thought nudged its way into my brain.
"Wait, if I'm