and started walking away.
"Erky derky?" I laughed as the words slipped from my lips.
Marge started giggling. "A few days ago, this little Asian girl came through here, cute as a button. She said some of the strangest things. That was one of them. I must have picked it up from her!"
"I say enough weird shit. If you catch me saying anything like that, have Herb smack me with a skillet."
Marge chuckled and headed for the counter. "Herb! Two eggs and legs, extra moo and whip 'em!"
"Aye, aye." Herb waved at me through the window into the kitchen.
"So, how did your foray into the elven lands go. I mean beside your consolation prize elf."
I snorted. "Consolation prize. I wish it were that simple. Delron's entire plan consisted of me getting preggers and cast down into the fiery pits of hell to rescue my father."
"That isn't the best of plans."
"Oh, and he gave me a jewel to shove my father's gifts into to give them back to him. Like the one that gave them to me in the first place."
"That is the better part of the plan. Where is the gem?"
"In the lockbox on my dresser. I'm going to get a pouch to carry it around in or something. Doesn't seem very safe leaving it where it is. I'm going to need it."
"You just need a way into Tartarus."
"Yep."
"Dot??
"You know a way?" My eyes narrowed and I leaned closer.
"No. That's just it. It is the literal bottom of the planes, far below Gehenna. Only those from the adjacent planes can access it. There is no way to get there anymore. You either have to be an angel or a devil."
"Devil?"
He sighed and leaned back, sipping his coffee. The plane above Tartarus is called Cania. There was one sole inhabitant."
"Who?"
"Mephistopheles He was rumored to have a stronghold in Tartarus as well."
"So, he can get us into Tartarus?"
"He could if he wasn't eradicated by the angels."
"So, only the plane below can get us to Tartarus? Wait! I thought you said Tartarus was the lowest?"
"It is. But everything comes full circle. Instead of thinking of the planes above and below, think of them side by side, but when you're on the plane, down takes you to the left." He tried to explain by having his hands one above the other and then twisted them together until they were side by side. It hurt my head.
"Okay. I kind of get it. So, the one below is actually the highest?"
"Precisely! So, the angels can get to Tartarus because it is above them, but on the bottom."
"I need a fucking drink."
"Got some whiskey behind the counter. Need a snort in your coffee?" Marge looked at me seriously as she deposited the plate of steak and eggs in front of me.
"No! It was a figure of speech. Dar hurt my head."
"Silly boy. Hurt her ass, not her head." She cackled and dropped the plate of food in front of him alongside a glass of water.
I blushed as I picked at my eggs.
"Let me know if you kids need anything else."
"Will do, Marge," I grumbled slightly, unable to look her in the eye.
"Perhaps she meant by spanking it?"
"You're gonna be spanking something else if you don't stop talking, Dar."
"Yes, Master."
Chapter 5
"We should totally have a New Year's party," Yuki said as if she was some sort of genius and tossed a four pack of Red Bull into the cart.
Reaching in, I lifted it out and put it back on the shelf. "You need Red Bull like I need another boyfriend." I kept walking and grabbed a case of Coke. By the time I got it into the cart, the Red Bull was back. At least she had tried to hide it under the stack of coloring books I found by the entrance to the Amersville Walmart. "Sneaky little shit," I said with a chuckle and pretended not to notice.
"Did you say something, Master?"
"Nope. Head for the coffee aisle. We need to stock up."
"Should I grab another cart?"
"Har, har."
My phone dinged in my pocket. Pulling it out, I rolled my eyes. I had texted my mother before I headed for the bookstore. I told her to call me when she got up, but I doubted she had slept in until after lunch. She was ignoring me, but finally caved and texted instead of calling.
What can I do for you, daughter?
I hit the call button. It rang four times and went to voicemail.
I am indisposed at the moment. What do you need,