She loved this man after all, even if she was not ready to admit it.
She cupped his bearded face in her hands before placing a soft, sweet kiss on his lips. Pulling back to break the contact, her eyes were brimming with tears as she softly said, "I promise, Bear." John immediately growled with passion and loosely gripped her neck. As he came in for a hard kiss, Gillian put her fingertips to his lips. His eyes were full of desire as she said, "John, if you kiss me, then we'll have sex again. While I would really love to feel you inside of me, we need to talk."
John ran an agitated hand through his coal black hair as he moved away from her a moment. He gritted his teeth as he again fought for control of his emotions. Right now, John needed Gillian. Hell, he thought to himself, he could spend the rest of his life inside of her and die a happy man. John wasn't used to talking about his feelings to anyone other than Patrick, and even then, he would sometimes simply bury them because they were too painful to deal with. He would typically use alcohol or sex to calm them with a large emphasis being placed on the latter. Gillian wasn't going to let him just fuck his cares away. John wanted to make her happy, so if she wanted to talk, then he would talk.
With a loud heavy sigh, John said, "What exactly are you wanting to talk about, kitten?"
Sitting back on the bed against the pillows, Gillian pulled her knees up to her chest. She was having a hard time understanding how John was feeling. "So where do we go from here?"
"You move back to London and live with me," the Brit replied simply.
"Move back to London?" Gillian exclaimed. "I just got a job here, John! I can't move back!"
"Bullshit, kitten! You and I both know that the only reason you moved here is because you were running from Galen. If you live in London with me, it will be easier to keep you safe."
"You mean it would be easier to control me? I'm not one of your staff, John! You won't treat me like you did the last time I was in your home."
"Fuck!" John said angrily as he went over to the glass doors to throw them open. Maybe the cool night air would help to cool his anger. "This has nothing to do with controlling you, kitten. I simply want to keep you safe. If something happened to you, I would never forgive myself."
"Bear, you don't have to worry about that. Nothing is going to happen to me," Gillian said, touched by his words.
"I know it won't, because you will have guards with you at all times," John replied over his shoulder. Feeling the tension rolling off Gillian in waves, he added, "And before you begin bitching about not trusting you or controlling you or some other ridiculous nonsense, let me finish. I'm sure you have heard many rumors about me. Most of them are total bullshit, but the one about me having ties to the underworld are true. I am the underworld, kitten, and Pat is my second in command. There are people who would love to see the two of us dead and rotting in the ground. They not only want us dead, but they want everything and everyone in our lives destroyed. Pat and I have 24/7 protection, and so will you."
"John, I don't know if I'm ready for that," Gillian answered honestly as his eyes met hers. She thought she saw a flash of fear in their chestnut depths, but John was quick to shield it. Patting the area of the bed beside her, she watched the Brit walk across the room and sit next to her. Taking his hand in hers, she said, "I want you, Bear, but you're asking me to become a prisoner of sorts. I—"
"A prisoner!" John exploded as he jerked his hand away from hers. "How in the fuck can you compare being in a relationship with me to being a prisoner? I'm not forcing you to be with me, damn it! You either want it, or you don't!"
"I do want this, Bear, but you are not allowing me to explain my feelings! Talking is not you exploding every two minutes!" Gillian exclaimed. "You have to understand that what is normal for you is not normal for me. You are asking