have no idea what it’s like for a mother to lose her own children. I’ve dreamed of travelling to Brockburg, of what you and your sister and brothers would say. I knew you’d hate me. I hated myself for so long.”
Alex went to her and engulfed the mother he had thought he despised in his arms. “After he died, I became careless.” She wrapped her arms around him. “Started bragging about my children, wanting people to know. I asked everyone who passed by here if they had word of you.”
He believed her.
The raw pain in her voice was real. He had never, not once, considered the possibility that she still loved them. That there might be a genuine reason for her abandonment. But he had no doubt Elkview’s retainers would validate her story. For now, he tried to forget the years of hate and misunderstanding that stood between them.
She cried for what seemed like hours, and he held her still. His mother. Who loved her children so much she’d done the unthinkable to protect them.
“Shhhh, Mother. I’m sorry for how I treated you—”
She held his face in her hands, her tears finally subsiding. “I do not blame you, son. It’s exactly the reaction I expected. When I heard you’d come looking for me. . . I was going to come to Kenshire, but I was so afraid that you would hate me for what I’d done. And John. . .”
He placed his hands over hers.
“The son,” she explained. “He’s never treated me as poorly as his father did, and I know you are grown men now. . .”
When her voice trailed off, Alex finished her sentence.
“We will protect you.”
She was coming home, to Scotland. She would never have anything to fear again. And if the new lord of Elkview thought to threaten his mother or his siblings, he would start a war, if necessary, to end that threat for good.
She nodded and tried to smile.
“I’m glad you found me, son. I love you so much. I’ve thought of nothing but you and your siblings, every day and every night, since I left.” She began to cry once again.
He held her in his arms, his mind still struggling to reorganize the past into this new frame. That was when it occurred to him. She’d lost a husband and four children all at once. And had been forced to marry a cruel, abusive husband.
He squeezed a bit tighter. “I love you, Mother. And I will never let anyone hurt you again.”
24
T
hey returned just past the midday meal. Clara was preparing for a ride to Kenshire’s village with Emma and Sara when Geoffrey walked into the stables to announce the arrivals.
“You can remove my wife’s saddle, and tell Eddard I must speak to him at once,” Geoffrey told the stable hand. He was out of view, but it was unmistakably him. Sara planted her hands on her hips, and when her husband entered, she glared at him.
“I’ll thank you not to order me about, husband. I was just about to—”
He reached around the countess’s expanded waist and silenced her with a kiss, followed by whispered words for her ears only.
“I’m so sorry, ladies,” Sara said by way of apology. “Do you mind terribly if I do not accompany you?”
“Actually,” Emma said, looking toward the entrance of the stable, “I may come back with you.”
Clara followed her glance toward Alex, who filled the entrance with his large frame and imposing presence. His grin stretched from ear to ear, and the way he looked at her. . . Clara knew she was lost. She had promised herself not to seek out any additional contact with him. Until she figured out what to do next, being with Alex was not wise.
And yet, that smile drew her in. Something had changed in him. His smile was broader, his steps lighter, as he entered the increasingly crowded space.
“I’m very sorry to hear that, Emma. But surely you won’t leave—again—because of me,” Alex teased.
Emma was already beginning to follow her brother.
“Nay, ’tis not you at all.” She held her hand to her head, implying that she’d suddenly acquired a horrible headache.
“Shall I unsaddle your mount as well, my lady?” the beleaguered stable boy asked Clara.
“Aye.”
“No.”
The poor boy looked from her to Alex, confused.
“I will gladly accompany you to the village, Lady Susanna,” he clarified.
If he was surprised she intended to go there without her disguise, he didn’t show it.
She pretended to be shocked. “Unaccompanied? Why, my lord, I could