The Saddest Song - By Susie Kaye Lopez Page 0,21

music. He had amazing talent.

I thought about how I shouldn’t assume she would want to go. I would ask her as if I didn’t care if we went or not. No pressure. We could do pizza and a movie, or go to the concert, either one would be fine as long as it distracted her from thinking of the dance.

Chapter 9

Rainey

Pretending Homecoming didn’t exist was proving to be unrealistic and clearly stupid. It was now just five days away and Caitlynn had very diplomatically mentioned nothing to me about either her date or her dress. I would see her talking animatedly to friends from a distance only to see her lose the enthusiasm and speak to me in quiet tones when I approached. I must have been doing a little better because I noticed her behavior and I actually cared.

That afternoon as Caitlynn walked out to the parking lot with me and Max I wanted to laugh at their shocked expressions when I casually said, “So, Cait, did you get a dress for the dance?”

She looked at Max, her eyes widening, then answered. “Yeah, I did.”

“Well, what color? Where did you get it?”

“It’s a really pretty silver grey color with lots of sparkles. I got it at Bloomingdales. I just hope it’s not too short.”

Our school had a strict dress code for dances that made us all nervous that we might not pass it. It wasn’t an unrealistic fear, at least ten girls at every dance had to call parents to bring a different dress or they couldn’t attend. Tall girls with long legs were their most common target. Being tall I always had my backup dress hanging ready on my closet door, just in case.

“So, who are you going with?” I was so out of touch with her that I really had no idea who she was currently crushing on.

“Nick Santos. I really wanted to go with Hudson, but Nick asked first.”

“Who’s party bus, Veronica’s?”

“Yeah, everyone’s on that one.” I knew exactly who she meant by everyone. That would have been the bus that Garrett and I would have been on.

‘Well, I want to see your dress!” I said, feigning enthusiasm. I was rewarded by the sight of her shocked smile.

“You do? I can come by tonight if you want!”

“That would be great. Oh, and don’t forget to bring your shoes too.” We reached her car and said our goodbye’s and walked over to the truck, neither of us saying anything until we were driving out of the parking lot.

“That was really nice of you,” Max said, glancing over at me.

“I felt bad when I saw how she keeps walking on eggshells around me. I want her to treat me the way she used to. I don’t want to be a freak anymore.”

“You’re not a freak Rainey. We are just trying to process everything while being under a microscope. It sucks.”

“Totally. I want to be normal again. I am so tired of the stares and the pity and my own tears. I feel like the shock is gone now and I am starting to accept he is gone forever. I know that is what he wants us to do. We have to live.”

“We do, but I think High School is basically over for both of us. We will happier after we graduate.”

I nodded in agreement but hoped that he didn’t mean he was ready to move on from me too.

“Hey, remember when I wrote songs over the summer with that friend of mine, Colin?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Well, he’s opening at a show this Saturday and he invited me to go. He said he would leave my name on the list if I wanted to go and bring a friend. Want to go?”

“That sounds fun! Then I know I won’t sit and think about the dance all night.”

“Cool.” He smiled. I really had missed that smile. Music was the most important thing in his life and he hadn’t done much in the last couple months. I hoped he and I were at least getting to the place where we could enjoy ourselves and forget our grief once in a while. Not forget Garrett. There was a difference. Grief felt like carrying super heavy weights everywhere you go. This was like getting to set them down for a while. You would still carry them again, but there would be times you didn’t have to.

Later that night as I cleared the dinner dishes, the doorbell rang and I heard my mom and dad