The Saddest Song - By Susie Kaye Lopez Page 0,22

greeting Caitlynn. We all stood in the front hall together as she unveiled her Homecoming dress and we all told her how much we loved it. I did love it, and I had to push down the tiny, jealous ache that wished I could be showing her mine. I loved dances. I loved Garrett. Both were behind me now. This wasn’t my world anymore.

We retreated up to my room after Caitlynn shared all the details of her plans for Saturday. “Rainey, you seem so much better!” Her voice sounded hopeful.

“I’m over the shock and hoping that it was only a bad dream. I guess I’m just accepting it now.”

“I guess the whole process will take a long time, huh?”

“It will, but that’s okay. Garrett was my boyfriend for almost four years, Cait. Wouldn’t it be sad if I was over him dying in two months? He deserves to be remembered and I want to remember him. I love all my memories of him. I’m really afraid of them fading as time goes on. It just keeps getting longer and longer since I’ve seen him.”

“You will miss him forever, but it’s good to see that you can smile again. Garrett would like that.”

I glanced over at the M&M smile still sitting on my desk and knew she was right.

Max

I told my parents about the concert at breakfast on Saturday morning. I expected them to be thrilled that I was going out again like a normal kid. They were always watching me with worried expressions on their faces and I assumed that they would be relieved to see me living again. I was feeling happier than I had felt thus far and I knew that a lot of it had to do with just accepting the reality that I would live without my brother for the rest of my life. All of us had come to terms with this fact and had made a small amount of progress. So when I told them I was shocked to see their concerned, fearful expressions.

“Are you sure you are up to it Max?” said mom.

“Up to what? It’s just a concert mom. One of my friends is opening for the main act. He invited me and I am taking Rainey.”

“Well, how late do you think you will be out?” Seriously? Garrett and I had never even had a set curfew as long as we checked in by text when we came or went from one place to the next.

“I don’t know mom. The concert begins at 8:00, so maybe midnight if we get some food after.”

“I just don’t like you to be out driving with the drunk drivers at night.”

“Mom, I will drive extra safe. I promise. I will be fine.”

“I can’t help but worry after what just happened to your brother.”

“I know mom. I will text you as soon as I get there and right when I am on my way back.”

Dad started to say something then sighed, as if he was resigned to the fact that they would just have to let me go.

“Nothing is going to happen to me you guys. Let’s be positive here. This is a good thing. Rainey and I are just going to go to a concert and have fun. We need to go on with our lives, right?”

“And we want you to. We do sweetheart. We just worry.” They looked at one another and silently communicated something. Probably preparing themselves to lose their only remaining child. I couldn’t deal with this. I turned and left the room, heading upstairs. Nobody followed me which made me happy. Then, a couple hours later mom knocked on my door and let herself in. She was carrying two shopping bags from the mall and proceeded to show me five or six new shirts.

“You will need these if you are going to start socializing again. I can’t remember the last time we bought you new clothes.” They weren’t bad, mom always did have good taste and had picked a lot of my stuff out. She knew my style and also my brother’s, which had been completely different from my own.

“Thanks mom. Does that mean you are okay about me going to the concert with Rainey tonight?”

“Well, I know it will be good for you both. You will look great in these.” She kissed my forehead and shut my door behind her as she left. I shook my head in confusion. Mom logic. Because everyone knows you can’t be killed in a car