The Saddest Song - By Susie Kaye Lopez Page 0,12

else. That would not happen. Max gently pulled me to my feet while Mrs. McKinley wrote a check for Melissa and we somehow thanked her and headed to the car. We did not speak again until I asked to be dropped off at home. I told them I would see them the next day and Max told me to call him if I needed to talk. I was thankful my parents were not home as I let myself in and headed straight for my room. I needed to see my clock, to know he hadn’t left yet. Running up the stairs I sighed in relief when I saw it there blinking red. I walked quickly to my desk to see my heart but it was gone. The multi-colored candies were now in the shape of a smiley face. I smiled too. I smiled through my tears.

Max

After we dropped Rainey at her house I looked at my mom. For the past three weeks I had worried about her and my dad. I had tried so hard to keep the three of us going and had wondered how being their only child would ever be enough. Mom had been so destroyed by Garrett’s death that I never expected to see her smile this way again, but her face was so full of joy.

“Mom are you okay?”

“I’m better than okay baby. I know Garrett’s still here. He’s still with us.”

“Yeah, he is mom, but he’s still dead.” I questioned how knowing your dead child is there but never really coming back could make everything better.

“I know that Max, but it’s just so amazing to be able to get messages from him. He’s not completely gone.”

Well, I thought to myself, for all practical purposes he is gone completely. If she was comforted by knowing her son was now a friendly ghost then I guess I should shut up and let her have that.

I bit my tongue and listened later at dinner as she relayed all of Garrett’s messages to my dad. Surprisingly, dad said he would like to go talk to Melissa too. I remembered how mom and dad used to make fun of those television mediums that claimed they spoke to the dead. Now they were believers. And, I guess I was too. Garrett had found ways to reach out and he had even told us it was difficult for him. I felt guilty for my negativity. I thought about how I had freaked out when I had received his text. At least I knew I wasn’t crazy. I promised myself I would be open to any future messages that he sent me. At the same time, I hoped he couldn’t read my mind because I was really conflicted about whether I even wanted more messages. Whatever happened to resting in peace?

Chapter 6

Rainey

At dinner that night I felt my parents silently communicating over my bowed head as I pushed my roasted vegetables and grilled chicken around on my plate. I concentrated on arranging it to make it look like I was actually eating some of it. My silence was wearing on them I knew and there was some part of me that felt bad, but not bad enough to change the behavior. Today’s events had exhausted and confused and comforted me in varying degrees and my energy was depleted. Tomorrow I would try to make them feel better. Tonight it just wasn’t possible.

“Rainey,” Mom said with fake enthusiasm. “We need to get our back to school shopping done. School starts soon and I thought you might like to ask Caitlynn to join us.”

“I don’t need anything Mom. I have plenty of clothes.” I kept my eyes down, pushing around my now cold food.

“Well, you need a backpack, and we always buy a new wardrobe and shoes. It is a tradition.”

“Mom, I’m a senior now. We can let go of the tradition. I have a backpack and it is perfectly fine. I have a lot of clothes. I don’t need anything.” I wanted to say that I wanted to use the backpack that Garrett had carried on his shoulder all last year and wear the clothes he had seen and touched. I wanted to tell them that I didn’t want to have things that he would never see. I wanted to say these things but I knew it would worry them more.

“Well then, maybe you don’t need anything Lamb, but wouldn’t it cheer you up to go on a shopping spree?” Dad said, trying