The Saddest Song - By Susie Kaye Lopez Page 0,11

was at the funeral and he felt sad that he couldn’t make you feel him there. He says you need to eat the food that all those people keep bringing to the house. He is saying that mom needs to go back to normal. Dad and you are the best parents a kid could have and Max still needs you to be okay. Max, he wants you to take care of them and Rainey for him and make their lives fun again. He says nobody is better for the job than you. He loves you and is sorry you have to help him out one more time. You are the best brother and he loves you too.

“Rainey, “she seemed to pause as she listened to him, and I thought that nothing she just said meant anything. She would know that any kid would send love to his family.”He says to tell you your clock isn’t broken, it’s him trying to give you a sign that he is there. He says you should know that after the other messages he has sent to you.”

I must have gasped or something because Max and his mother both reached for me. “Rainey sweetheart, are you alright?” Mrs. McKinley asked, as Max put a protective arm around my shoulder.

I nodded, and my eyes met Melissa’s as I waited for more. I felt so many emotions at the same time, happiness, hope, shock and then crushing sadness because he was still never coming back. He wasn’t here all the way and he never would be. Yet, he had just told me he was still with me, my own invisible boyfriend. It would be enough. It would be everything just knowing he was there.

“He says he loves you and always will, but you have a whole big life to live. Don’t waste it being sad for him. He isn’t sad. He has a whole new life too. He just can’t begin it until he knows you are all okay.”

Melissa went on to tell Max that Garrett had turned on the video game that he thought was defective, and he had been the one turning off their Dad’s TV and their mom’s hairdryer but none of them had guessed it might be him. He says it is really difficult to do and he is glad you came here.”

Mrs. McKinley asked several more questions and then she got to the one I was afraid to ask. The one I dreaded the answer to. “How long will he be here?”

“He says he needs to go soon. He says he will check on you from time to time so pay attention. He will turn something off. He is laughing.”

Laughing? How could he be laughing? I felt the tears fill my eyes for the millionth time. This was crazy. I felt like I had reached the limit of my sanity and I would go insane any moment. Garrett was laughing while I sat here, we all sat here, slowly dying. We ached for him, we needed him, and he thought he would make a few jokes? I felt angry. I felt fury.

“Garrett!” I burst out, my voice hoarse from the tears, “None of this is funny! We need you. We miss you so much we can’t function. How can we just go back to our happy lives?”

Melissa smiled gently at me. Max took my hand and squeezed it. “Because Rainey, he says he can’t fix this. As much as you need him to be okay, he needs you to be okay too. He says you all need to do it, for each other.”

I heard his words, and they made so much sense but they seemed like the most impossible task in the world. Still, I would try for Garrett, and for all of us.

“He says to tell his dad how much he loves him and that he will love you all forever. Oh, and Rainey, he wants you to know you had nothing to do with his death, the argument and him coming home early did not mean a thing. One way or another it was meant for him to die. He says it was his time. Let go of the guilt. Let go of him. Take the ring off when you are ready and love again.”

There was a little more but I didn’t hear it. I was frozen. I was staring at the ring he gave me and wondering how he could want me to remove it and be with someone