them to dig through. Carlo was mostly silent during the days, sometimes being gone for hours at a time. Other times he stopped his work and listened to her explanations. He rarely asked questions himself.
By Saturday, Kate was exhausted. She slept until ten o’clock which was a first for her. She usually woke early even on the weekends. But she’d been working on five or six hours of sleep each day, working twelve to eighteen hours a day in an effort to help out Jeff and Peter while still managing the purchasing department. There was only so much she could delegate. Matt couldn’t take on anymore either so that left her with the bulk of the decisions to be made and those decisions required research and comparisons.
She hadn’t listened to her answering machine when she’d gotten in last night but, as she was making coffee, she noticed the light was blinking, indicating that she had at least one message.
Kate groaned as she listened to the messages. The first one was from David. He had arranged a cocktail party for the vice presidents and the ATI team so they could get to know each other a little better. He was asking her to show up and introduce the ATI team to the other executives.
The other message was from her mother who was just calling to check in and see how things were going. Kate hadn’t spoken to her mother in over three weeks which was unusual. They tried to connect at least once a week. Unfortunately, with her extra work load, Kate hadn’t had the time or the energy to talk with her mother.
She thought about the two messages and what each required. The last thing she wanted to do was act as a hostess for David. But she supposed there was no way she could really get out of it. She called her mother and chatted with her, filling her in on the latest news while she searched through her wardrobe to find something appropriate to wear for David’s schmoozing party.
She dressed carefully for the evening, not wanting to draw attention to herself. She chose a simple black, crepe dress with satin trimming. Usually, she would add something to the dress to add some flair, but tonight, knowing that Carlo would be there, she avoided all sorts of jewelry and additions. She needed to be inconspicuous.
Kate stared at herself in the mirror. She looked like she was wearing a black sack. She’d even pulled her hair back into a simple chignon so it wasn’t flying everywhere as usual. The image that stared back at her was so far from her usual self she hardly recognized herself.
She worried at her reflection. What was she really trying to do? Was she trying to avoid Carlo? She desperately wanted to kiss him again. But could she stop it at only a kiss? She realized that she liked being attracted to him. He might seem boring and stone-like initially. But underneath, she knew there was a firestorm of intelligence and humor just under the surface that fascinated her. Was it just a fantasy she’d concocted to get her through the days? She knew she’d been bored with life lately. Was this just a silly infatuation she needed to ignore? Or was she willing to pursue a more physical relationship with the man?
She shivered as she remembered her previous sexual experience. It had been so painful, so humiliating. Would it be again? She didn’t think so. Was she sure enough to try again? Not really. Even with Carlo?
No, definitely not with Carlo.
She knew herself, despite her flighty dressing and somewhat ditzy demeanor. She liked the fantasy of Carlo and didn’t want that fantasy to disappear with what could be an awful reality.
Kate sighed and turned away from her mirror, grabbing a black, satin purse and leaving her house. Would she ever be willing to try again with a physical relationship? She doubted it. The idea of not having children to run around her house, a husband to share her life with was sad and cold. But the memory of growing up with a father who didn’t want her was too painful.
She remembered birthdays, dressing up in her prettiest dresses, combing her hair and putting in a pretty bow, with the hopes that her father would come just once to see her. She’d always wanted to look her best for him, to show him that she was nice enough and wouldn’t be a bother to him