half-dozen lights, changing the filters about a million different times. With Lindsay due in fifteen days, the last thing she wants to do right now is be filmed for a surfing interview, so she and the girls went to Lillian’s house. She’ll probably relax inside while Lillian takes the girls to the beach.
Effie Vanderbeek, the journalist who contacted me about doing the interview for Surfline magazine, is sitting across from me, skimming through her notes. She assured me they don’t really need Lindsay here for the interview. They just thought it would be nice since there are rumors flying around that I’ll be retiring after this year’s tour to spend more time with my family.
I don’t bother asking her where she heard those rumors. That kind of gossip spreads around the community fast whenever a surfer gets married or has kids. And with photographers following Lindsay and me around a lot more over the past few weeks, photographing us on our way to and from her doctor appointments, it’s only natural for people to deduce that she’s carrying more than one bun in the oven.
What I haven’t decided is whether I’m going to confirm the rumors. I’ve kept the peace with Lindsay over the past few weeks by assuring her that I’ve spoken with Andy and my other sponsors about the possibility of retirement, but we haven’t decided on an exit strategy yet. The truth is that I’ve only hinted to Andy that I might have to retire soon, though I’m pretty certain he took that to mean in a few years.
When all the cameras, dollies, lighting, and microphones are set up, they begin rolling tape on the interview and my throat feels as if it’s going to close up.
Effie smiles as she rests her perfectly manicured hands on her knee and crosses her legs. “Adam, what a whirlwind tour this has been for you,” she begins. “Did you have any clue, back in January when you took to the water in the first heat in Gold Coast, that you would do this well?”
I shake my head. “I had no clue. I’ve been fighting my way to the top for years. Finished sixth two years ago, twelfth last year… I guess it was just my time.”
“Well, you’re being kind of modest now, aren’t you? You were in the top ten three years ago as well. And two years ago, you were ranked fourth during most of the championship tour, until your daughter was born. Am I right?”
I grit my teeth and smile at this question. “Well, it wasn’t my daughter’s birth that made me lose rank. It was my decision to skip Peniche that did me in.”
She cocks an eyebrow at this response. “But you skipped Peniche to be with your pregnant wife, correct?”
I draw in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Yeah, she needed me. Sometimes, there are…” My mouth goes dry as I realize I can’t say the words aloud. I can’t say there are more important things than surfing. “Family comes first, you know?”
She leans forward. “But what about the fans? What about the thrill? Do you think you’ll miss that when you retire?”
I glance at the director and make a timeout signal. “What’s going on here? I never said I was retiring.”
The director looks confused. “Well, everyone retires at some point. I don’t think she was implying you’re retiring soon.”
I look to Effie for confirmation and she raises her eyebrows. “I need you to clarify that in your question. I have sponsors who will want that clarified.”
She nods. “Absolutely.” She motions to the camera man to roll tape, then she leans forward again the way she was before I interrupted. “Adam, there are rumors flying all over Facebook and the blogosphere. People are in an uproar over the possibility that you may be considering retirement. Is there any truth to these rumors, or is it just a bunch of hogwash, as Pete Hillman of Channel Islands Surfboards, one of your biggest sponsors, has said?”
I clear my throat to try to stall for time, but I feel the fiery panic rising inside me along with the bile in my stomach. “I’m… I’m not retiring,” I reply. “The rumors are just that, rumors.” I turn back to the director. “Can we change the subject?”
He shoots Effie a look and she moves on to asking me about my diet and training regimen. She finishes up by asking if I have any advice for the young surfers coming