regret having kids?”
“Wow. That’s a heavy question.”
She shakes her head. “You don’t have to answer. I was just wondering… I was just thinking that maybe this desire to have kids is part of the whole biological clock thing, and maybe I’ll find out I don’t really want them. And it would really suck to find that out later rather than sooner, you know?”
I draw in a long breath and let it out slowly, trying to stall for time. “I don’t know. My situation might be different than yours. Then again, it might be the same. I don’t know if I feel comfortable influencing such an important and personal decision.”
She nods and flashes me a tight smile. “I understand.”
I sigh as I realize I should be ashamed of myself for giving such a weak response. “Lena, there are some days I wish I didn’t have kids, especially lately. And I realize how awful that sounds, but I’d be lying if I said the thought never crosses my mind.” I sit up straight, rubbing my hands together to brush off the grass stuck to my palms. “But I’d also be lying if I didn’t add that nothing brings me more joy, makes me feel more purposeful, than being a father to those two little brats.”
She laughs at this, but she doesn’t say anything, so I continue.
“Listen, Lena. If you want to have kids now, there’s nothing wrong with that.” I tap her arm to get her attention. “Hey, look at me. I mean it. Even if Yuri flies off the handle or accuses you of going back on your word or your pact—or whatever the fuck kind of deal you two made—you’re allowed to change your mind. You’re human. And wanting to be a parent is natural. And from experience, I can tell you it’s pretty fucking beautiful.” I wait a moment while she wipes away some tears, then I add the necessary caveat. “But you have to be prepared to hear that Yuri’s not on the same page as you. You have to be ready to either come up with a compromise or settle for not getting what you want.”
She heaves a deep sigh and nods as she gets to her feet. “Let’s get back to work. Enough of my shitty relationship problems.”
I laugh as I get up with her. “Yeah, and whatever you do, don’t tell Yuri I gave you that shitty relationship advice.”
“You want me to lie to my boyfriend?”
We stare at each other for a moment, and a long, pregnant pause later, I reply, “Yes.”
Eleven
Coming in second to Carlos Ferreira—the Prodigy from Portugal, as the press likes to refer to him—at a single event on his home turf was something I kind of expected when I came to Portugal. And by the semifinal heat, Carlos pretty much had the victory locked in. But falling to number-two seed in the overall CT rankings was a painful blow to my ego. I spent more than six months riding the crest of that wave. I didn’t realize how much I liked it up there until Carlos came along and knocked me off.
It’s all good, I assure myself as Lena and I shove our way through the crowd. I still have one more chance to see my name engraved on that championship trophy at the World Surfing Awards in February. And the next event will be in Pipeline. I’m not specifically from Hawaii, but I’ll have the American home-field advantage with the crowd.
I may not be wearing the yellow champion’s jersey at Pipeline, but coming in as a champion isn’t everything. Last year’s world champ, Brad Wilson, is currently sitting at number nine in the CT rankings after skipping two events to go to an Olympic training camp. Two years ago was the first year surfing became an official event in the Olympics and that bastard took the gold. Last year he took the world championship. But as it stands, even if Brad wins first place at Pipeline, he still won’t have enough points to overtake either me or Carlos in the CT rankings.
We’re almost at the truck where my Rip Curl rep is waiting to whisk us away back to our hotel, when Enzo Hisakawa, editor of The Inertia—one of the largest online surfing communities—and one of my most vocal critics, comes out of nowhere with a photographer and a microphone attached to a digital voice recorder.
“Adam, what do you think about that interference call? Do you agree with the judges?”