Damian will be back in time for me to say goodbye.
I know I’m doing the right thing for me, but it’s hard to wholeheartedly believe that when I feel so sad. When I constantly have to remind myself why I’m packing up my apartment in the first place.
Out of nowhere a loud crash sounds next door. Then something slams against the wall. My first thought is of Emily. I can’t leave him like this. He’s already in so much pain, a torment caused by me. If he loses Emily too, it will kill him.
Sticking my head out in the hallway, I hear the sound of breaking glass. Before I can think about it further, I’m standing in front of Damian’s door, pounding on it until my first burns.
The door swings wide open.
A very angry, red-eyed and distraught looking Damian is staring back at me. He stands there for a minute not saying a word but taking me in. His eyes roam from my face, down my body and lands on my chest as a small smile begins to form at the corner of his lips. Lifting a hand, he grabs my shirt and pulls me inside. Then kicks the door closed. I’m backed up to a wall, and his stare is intense, intimidating. But this is Damian, I have nothing to be afraid of, he would never physically hurt me. He can destroy me with words, but he won’t lay a finger on me.
His chest is moving in and out, dragging deep mouthfuls of air into his lungs.
He steps closer, and I can smell the hospital still stuck on his clothes, sense the sadness that is radiating deep inside him. The angry look he had on when he opened the door falls, as his face stiffens and his shoulders slump down.
“She’s in critical condition, and they won’t let me see her.”
I feel like I’ve been stabbed in the heart. Can’t feel the blood pumping through my veins and I’m worried I’m about to faint, but this isn’t about me. This is about a man who loves a little girl so much, that he was ready to give her the world.
“They say I’m not family. The ICU is reserved for family members only. They kicked me out.” He steps into my zone, all the way in, and rests his head on the wall behind me, my body cocooned inside his arms. “I feel like I can’t breathe.”
Cautiously I lift a hand to his chest. “Let me breathe for you. Let me be your air.”
He nods, moving his head from the wall to my shoulder. My hand slides from his chest up his arm and I entwine his fingers with mine, peeling him away from the wall.
I walk him down a hallway and into the bathroom. He’s destroyed, and it shows all over his face. His eyes are red, his skin pale. He’s unsteady and can barely stand on his own two feet. He’s mumbling and he stumbles slightly as he follows me.
Guiding him to the closed toilet, I sit him on the lid and turn to the shower, wanting to wash this all away, even if it’s only to give him a few hours of peace. The knob sticks slightly, but I manage to get it on. As I’m waiting for the water to warm, I go to him. He has buried his face in his hands and his entire body is shaking. Gently I pry his fingers from his face and slowly lift his shirt over his head. He sits up and stares at me. His eyes are pleading with me to take this all away, to make it better.
I stand him up and my hands slide inside the waist of his jeans as I release each button and let the denim slide to the floor.
He’s completely naked and vulnerable standing in front of me. His hands rest on my shoulders and then he traces a line from my collarbone, down to the length of my arm to my hand. Circling his fingers with mine, I lead him to the shower and am about to get him under the water when he turns to me and begins to lift my T-shirt up my stomach and over my head.
“Damian,” I whisper.
“Shhh,” he says as he leans down and kisses me. “Just, shhh.” He brings my bottom lip into his mouth and pushes my leggings down my hips, using his foot to get them all the way off. My flip-flops were left