when it’s safe,” I say instead.
“Oh, absolutely.” Computer keys click in the background. “That does it for me. I’ve rearranged everything else in order of precedence. You’ll be slammed for the first week back, but if I know you, that makes you happy.”
I close my computer and relax against my chair. The late afternoon sun warms my face. The rays are amplified by the pool rippling in front of me.
The fresh air helped clear my head. After I worked outside all day with my computer on my lap, I felt like I was in high school again. All I needed was a boom box.
“I appreciate your help in moving all this around,” I tell Yancy.
“Of course, Miss Gibson.”
“We’ll talk soon.”
“Goodbye.”
I end the call.
My eyes fall closed in the bliss of a workday well done. There’s nothing like it.
I grin.
Except for the bliss of a night well done with Holt.
A laugh escapes my throat as I think about how stupid that is. Yet it’s true.
My phone rings from beside me. I pick it up and look at the caller ID.
Sienna.
“Hey,” I say, shielding my eyes from the sun.
“Well, don’t you sound chipper.”
I shrug. “I’ve had a good day.”
“And …?” she prods.
“Well, I slept in. Had a great cup of coffee followed by a long, hot shower.” I hold back a laugh about how much I needed said shower. “Then I worked all day by a gorgeous pool and listened to the birds chirp, and I got a ton of stuff done. It’s been a good day.”
“Better,” she says. “But you left out all the Holt stuff.”
I shift in my chair. “I actually haven’t seen him since about three this morning. I’m guessing he’s been at work.”
“So this happiness is residual. This is a good sign, Blaire.”
Is it?
Of course being happy is a good thing. It’s much better than the alternative. But is being happy in this situation truly a good thing?
I don’t know.
“I don’t know about it being a good sign,” I say. “But it feels nice not to feel like the world is sitting on my shoulders for once.”
“That’s how I feel with Walker.”
I snort. “He could barely write checks to pay his bills before you came along.”
“Well, I do it for him now, so he still can’t do that,” she admits with a laugh. “But being around him makes me feel safe. I can mess up—you do remember how I met him, right?”
I laugh as I remember Lance explaining how Sienna damaged Walker’s truck. “I do.”
“So, yeah, you get it. You know what I mean.”
I think about my time with Holt, and I do kind of get what she means. If I feel anything around Holt, it’s … that. Confident enough to be myself. To speak my mind. To share my wounds.
To be me.
Still, I don’t know if it’s a good thing.
“When are you coming home?” she asks.
“I just got off the phone with Yancy. She said my building should be opened by the end of the week.”
“What’s the plan?”
I wiggle my toes.
“Blaire?”
“I … don’t know. I mean, I’ll go back to Chicago. He’ll be here running his empire.”
The words hang in the air. It’s not a new concept. It’s been the plan from the beginning. It’s life. Even so, it feels different today. It feels … sad.
How did I get myself into this mess?
Because it’s a mess. Or it will be if I don’t get a hold on things now.
“Maybe a long-distance relationship will work,” Sienna offers. “Have you thought about that?”
“No. And I think you’re thinking too seriously about this.”
“Tell me this—do you want to do a long-distance relationship with him? Would you if he wanted to?”
I bite my lip.
I don’t want to answer her. I want to avoid this topic and move on to something less intrusive. But last night’s events roll back through my mind. Holt’s words about Sienna do too.
She’s a good friend to have.
As nervous as I am to admit—I want to have a friendship with Sienna. I’m not sure what that looks like, really, but it’s been fun talking to her without any pressure. It makes me feel more connected to my family too.
It would be fun to have a girlfriend to talk to about things like men too. Maybe we could grab lunch sometimes. We could even make Christmas cookies like my mom used to do with her friends.
Right?
If I want to have that type of rapport with her, I’m going to have to share things about my life.
Things like this.
I