stings. Pride has me warring some to save face. “Your previous girls were right—you’re a lousy lay.” I lash out with another lie to twist the blame of this disaster back on him.
No one’s told me that. And we didn’t sleep together, so how could I know? But the words do the trick, igniting his temper and pushing him over the edge.
“Get the hell out!”
“Gladly.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
Ryker
What the actual fuck was that?
The fear in her eyes is burned into my mind.
And the taste of her kiss is seared into my goddamn memory.
I pace back and forth across the lush carpet and expansive suite. I’m amped on adrenaline, horny as hell, and confused as fuck.
A quick glance at the door she just rushed from tells me, yep, it sure as hell did just happen.
But the question is what is it that happened?
The highly recommended escort who is really a virgin?
The Saxony who isn’t really a Saxony. Her hesitation to respond every time I said her name tells me that.
And why does that bug me? Why does not knowing more about her infuriate me?
Did Vee really think I wanted to deflower a fucking virgin? Did she think when I said I wanted someone who was experienced that I was playing a goddamn game?
I may be a callous fucker, but I’m not heartless. Scratch that—I am heartless, but even I have my limits. Even I have a conscience when it comes to taking the one thing from a person you can never give back.
“A fucking virgin.” I scrub a hand over my jaw, and fuck if the smell of her pussy isn’t on my fingers still. I must be a masochist because I inhale—take in the scent—and then laugh into the empty room.
There’s no way she could have been a virgin. No goddamn way.
Then what was it? What am I missing?
“Give it a rest, Ryk,” I mutter as I grab the decanter and, with a heavy hand, pour myself some more whiskey.
Amped up, I move to the floor-to-ceiling window of the bedroom and look out to the city’s lights beyond. To the million people living their lives. Fucking someone. Cheating on someone. Loving someone.
And here I am in a hotel room screwed . . . and not in a good way.
CHAPTER NINE
Vaughn
Shame.
It coats my skin in an impermeable layer as I enter my bathroom.
It became heavier on me with each step home.
Out of the hotel. Finding a cab. The long drive to the house. The fumbling to unlock the door. The discarding of clothes piece by piece as I trudged through the family room and into the hall.
The shame is tinged with a confusion that makes me physically ill as I repeatedly try to recall what it is that my memory blindsided me with.
My uncle James. The man who took care of us after our mom died.
That’s all I know.
All I can remember.
It somehow had to do with him, and the grotesque feeling in my stomach tells me more than I need to know.
I stutter to a stop in the hallway. The box of my sister’s things calling to me from the closet. Telling me the answer’s in there when I’ve already looked through everything before.
But this time, maybe I’ll see something different. Maybe this time, I’ll understand what she said, what she did, and why she did it a little bit more.
Bile rises in my throat as I dare to think the truth. That my sister protected me from him by using herself.
Because I would remember if it had been me, right?
I double over and retch at the thought, running to the bathroom, but nothing comes up. Nothing purges to make me feel better.
Unwilling to look at myself in the mirror right now, knowing I’m a mess of ruined makeup and hair tousled by his fingers, I turn on the shower. I crank it as hot as it will go and then hiss when the frigid water hits my skin.
But I don’t move. Not when the cold water turns lukewarm. Not when it bleeds into scalding hot. Not when my skin turns bright red from its punishing cadence.
I let the water sluice over my skin and use its scorching temperature to erase everything from tonight. The colossal error in judgment I made thinking I could pretend to be one of my girls. The mistake in thinking I actually liked Ryker, actually found him attractive. The vile memory that hints at the corners of my mind that as much as I want to know