I try. It consumes me.”
“I don’t know what to say.” Troy bared his teeth before pressing his lips together tightly. His eyes avoided hers as they stood in the moonlight.
“I’m so sorry, Troy. So very sorry I dragged you into this.”
“Was this some sort of revenge or something?”
Elle shook her head, quickly, back and forth, back and forth. Shocked by the question. For months, she’d wondered the same thing about Troy’s intentions—never, for even one minute, did she consider he might question her motives.
“Absolutely not. I promise you with all that I am.”
“Then what?” Troy’s face fell, his eyes soft and pleading. “What do you want from me?”
Elle hesitated as she thought the question through. “I want to be forgiven.”
Troy said nothing. He turned and walked in the opposite direction. Elle gasped, wondering if those would be the last words she’d ever say to him. Her eyes grew wet as he walked to the DJ’s booth. Confused, Elle watched as he leaned in and spoke into the DJ’s ear. The young man behind the booth nodded and Troy shook his hand.
Troy returned to Elle and they stood in awkward silence for a moment before he offered her his hand. Elle was confused, at first, but placed her fingertips in the palm of his hand and followed him to the dance floor. The familiar notes of “Here, There and Everywhere” filled the air. She stared at Troy in wonder.
“One last dance, Rigby?”
Slowly, they swayed as their song filled the air. A lump formed in Elle’s throat as she tried to imagine what else to say to Troy. Her mind was swirling and her heart was racing. She knew she was, ultimately, saying good-bye to one of the most important people in her life. The possibility of them remaining friends after reopening so many wounds was unlikely and she knew it. But, she was desperate for his forgiveness. As they danced in silence, she looked up at Troy, waiting for him to break the silence. Finally, he did.
“I forgive you,” Troy murmured, pulling Elle closer. “But only if you’ll forgive me.”
Elle pulled back, her eyes meeting his with confusion. “I don’t understand.”
“You’ve always been the girl who was just out of my reach.”
“That’s not true.”
“Just hear me out,” Troy insisted. “I knew it at the campsite, and the bar when we finally got together. Hell, I knew it when you walked down the aisle.”
“How could you think I didn’t love you?”
“That’s not what I mean.” Troy shook his head. “I know you loved me. But it wasn’t the same. Even today, I felt it . . .” His words trailed off.
“What do you mean?”
“All night, I watched you, even when you didn’t know I was paying attention. I saw the way you look at Kingston. You never looked at me like that, Rigby. Never.”
Elle’s eyes filled with tears. “I never meant—I mean . . . I just . . .”
“It’s okay.” Troy smoothed her hair down before pressing his forehead to hers. Together, still swaying to the music, they cried below the stars. “But I need you to forgive me. At every stage of our lives, I pushed you. At the time, I thought I was doing it for your own good, to make you realize how much you loved me and that we belonged together. But I get it now. I was fooling myself and doing my best to fool you, too.”
“Don’t apologize for loving me,” Elle whispered.
“I have to.” Troy shook his head. “I pushed too hard. I didn’t want to see the truth.”
Elle placed her hand on Troy’s cheek, brushing his olive skin with the tips of her fingers. “But you loved me just the same. Don’t apologize for that. I’m honored that you loved me, Troy. Honored.”
Troy cupped her face with his hands, and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. The last kiss they would ever share.
“Should I take you home?”
“After the song ends, okay? I want one last dance with you.”
And there, under the twinkling lights hanging above the dance floor, Elle and Troy finished the song, holding one another close, purging themselves of their mistakes, their anger, their pain.
And it was there, under those lights, that Elle was finally free.
Elle watched from her front porch as Troy climbed into his car and backed out of her driveway. She clutched her Golden Globe. The award was much heavier than she’d anticipated, just like the night on which she’d won it. The idea of never seeing Troy