in his arms, his gray eyes now searching her face. “Number one, I don’t think it’s your job to be Miguel’s messenger. Number two, why doesn’t your dad see you as an alternate who would keep the place together?”
“He doesn’t trust me.” Unable to look at him, Julia stared at the open top button of his work shirt. “He thinks I’m like my mother, that I’ll up and leave whenever I feel like it.”
“That’s . . .” Kaiden let out a breath. “Stupid.”
“Not that my mother did that,” Julia said fairly. “She tried everything to convince Dad to let her go back home to work at the clinic when the ranch wasn’t busy, but he got really stubborn and tried to stop her going entirely.”
Julia fidgeted with the collar of Kaiden’s shirt. “She got so depressed, Miguel and I were really worried about her. The tighter my father tried to hold on to her, the worse he made things. As soon as Miguel and I were old enough to look after ourselves, she gave Dad an ultimatum. Let her go back to Guatemala during our vacation times to practice medicine at her clinic, or she would leave him. He didn’t take her seriously until she refused to come back at the end of the summer.”
“But, what’s that got to do with you?” Kaiden asked. “You’re not her, and from what I’ve seen you’ve basically been holding that ranch together financially for the last few years.”
“Tell that to my dad.” She smoothed a hand over his chest. “He loves me dearly, but he can’t get over his fears, just like he couldn’t with my mother. He’s probably going to leave the ranch entirely to Miguel. He doesn’t think a woman can run it.”
“You could manage that place with one hand tied behind your back,” Kaiden scoffed.
She raised her eyes to his face. “But, I don’t want to run it, Kaiden. I don’t ever see myself being a full-time ranch manager.”
He went still. “Which is your nice way of reminding me that you’re never coming back home, and there’s no chance of us ever having a relationship, right?”
“It wasn’t, but let’s be honest, maybe it needed to be said.” She cupped the hard line of his jaw. “I’m obviously attracted to you, but I can’t offer you anything right now.”
Kaiden raised an eyebrow. “Have I asked you for anything?”
“No, but—”
“You just assumed I would.” Any spark of humor evident in his eyes vanished. “I’m not stupid, Julia.”
“I never said you were.”
She had a horrible sense of the conversation slipping away from her.
“But, here you are, graciously telling me that although you might have the hots for me I shouldn’t get my hopes up because I don’t stand a chance? Like I didn’t know that?” He stepped back with a fake smile on his face. “You set the limits here, okay? Tell me what you want from me, and I promise to abide by your rules. No strings attached.”
“I don’t have any rules,” Julia objected. “I was just trying to be honest with you.”
He retreated behind his workbench, picked up his coffee, and took a sip before looking at her again, but he didn’t speak.
“I’m the one who is confused here, Kaiden,” she said unsteadily. “Not you. I don’t do this kind of thing. I don’t know how to deal with these feelings I have for you. I’m scared that you’ll get the wrong idea, and I don’t want to hurt you.”
“The wrong idea.” He half smiled. “What’s that? Like you’ll settle down here, have half a dozen little Millers while we run the ranch together until Miguel turns up and kicks us out?”
There was a long silence while they measured each other.
“Are you trying to make me smile?” Julia asked incredulously. “After everything we just said to each other?”
He shrugged. “Right now, I think you just need a friend, okay? So why don’t we just stick to that?”
* * *
Long after Julia had gone, Kaiden was still running through their last conversation and rethinking every single one of his answers. He’d allowed her to get him riled up again, but this time he’d just about managed to downplay the effect her words had on him. And, she was right. There was no future for them. But she’d admitted to having feelings for him, and that made him want to cheer. The trouble was—he had feelings for her, too.
“Pathetic,” Kaiden muttered to himself as he tightened up the last bolt in the beam.