she faced something far more instinctive and natural.
“You,” she said. “I want you.”
Chapter Nine
Kaiden drew a careful breath. “I hate to be that person, but could you be more specific?”
He surprised a laugh out of her, which made him want to smile in return. Ever since he’d walked out of the bar he’d been kicking himself for overreacting to her comments. But at some level, she got him like nobody else, and he wasn’t sure he liked it one bit. Somehow, he kept talking even though it was like pulling teeth.
“I guess I’m the fun one because somebody had to be,” he said slowly. “Dealing with my dad when we were kids was . . . hard. We all tried in our different ways to appease him, and I suppose sometimes, if I made a joke, it protected someone else, or lightened the mood, or refocused his ire on me, which was better because I could take it. I guess it became a habit.”
She was quiet for so long that he almost forgot to breathe, and then she set her hand over his.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” He shrugged. “Having to listen to me whine?”
“You’re not whining. You’re explaining how difficult things were for you, and how you learned to cope.”
He stiffened. “Now you sound like you feel sorry for me.”
“I do.”
“So this ‘wanting me’ is some kind of gracious pity party for poor little Kaiden?”
She snatched her hand back. “Just because you admitted something personal doesn’t mean you have to immediately lash out at me for being the person to hear it. I’m not exactly going to run around telling everyone that Kaiden Miller has a soft side.”
He snorted. “Like anyone would believe that.”
She regarded him seriously. “You’re wrong. Everyone likes you, and you know it.”
“That wise-cracking fake-assed guy who wants so badly to be liked?”
“Kaiden . . .”
He looked out of the window and slowly inhaled. What the hell was wrong with him? He rarely lost his temper, and certainly not over something so stupid as his feelings. His dad would’ve destroyed him if he’d thought any of his sons were so weak. He took another two, long, slow breaths before turning back to Julia and offering her a smile.
“So what were you saying earlier about wanting me?”
She opened her eyes wide. “That’s what you’re going with? Really?”
“It’s not often that I get propositioned by the most beautiful girl in high school.”
He could almost hear her teeth grinding together as he continued to smile and she breathed through her nose.
“Forget I ever said it, okay?”
He picked up his cell, which had revived sufficiently to light up the screen. “Sure!”
He thought she muttered something about idiots, but his attention was caught by the numerous messages now flashing up on his screen and he hissed a curse.
“Kaiden? What’s wrong?” Julia’s voice finally penetrated his terror and he looked up.
“My dad.”
“What about him?”
“No wonder he wasn’t chasing me down.” He swallowed hard. “He’s been flown out to Mammoth with a suspected heart attack. Everyone’s been trying to get hold of me for hours.”
She grabbed his arm. “Then let’s get you back home. Go straight there and we can sort out my transport afterward.”
* * *
He didn’t remember driving back to the ranch, which probably wasn’t a good thing. Julia had offered to take his place, but he’d needed something solid to hold on to, and a reason to overcome the sensation of terror that kept stealing his breath and making his own heart stutter in his chest. His dad might be the most god-awful pain in the ass, but he was as invincible and immovable as the Sierra Nevadas under whose shadow his family had made their home.
He couldn’t die.
Could he?
“You’re almost there,” Julia encouraged him as they turned up the drive. She’d taken over his phone and had been texting away, telling him what was going on as he drove through the darkness. “Almost everyone is home except Adam, who went with Jeff to the hospital.”
“Okay.” Kaiden concentrated on not driving too fast as the truck climbed uphill to the flat pad the ranch house and barn stood on. “Got it.”
He turned the engine off, didn’t bother to wait for Julia, and ran straight for the house. His family was gathered in the kitchen just where he’d expected them to be, and they all looked up as he burst into the room.
“God, I’m so sorry. My phone was out of juice, and I—”
“No, it’s okay!” His sister, Daisy, rushed over to him.