I got myself dressed quickly in front of the huge glass window and held my shoes in my hand rather than put them on my feet. I picked up my duffel and headed for the door. I could feel his se**n wet between my legs, draining out, and the thought made me want to weep. Everything felt wrong now. I had ruined it.
Once I was out the front door, I ran for the elevator and pushed the call button. I shoved my shoes on my feet and dug around in my bag for a brush. I dragged that brush through my I’ve-just-been-fucking hair in brutal sweeps. The poor tangled mess didn’t stand a chance but it was better than nothing. The lift arrived and I hopped on, stowing my brush and checking my wallet for cab fare as I descended.
When I emerged into the lobby the doorman greeted me. “May I assist you, madam?”
“Err…yes, Claude? I need to get home. Can you help me hire a cab?” I sounded desperate even to my ears. No telling what Claude might be thinking.
He did not show the slightest reaction though as he picked up a phone. “Ahhh, there we have one coming in now.” Setting down the phone, Claude came around from behind his desk and held the lobby door open for me. He helped me to the cab and shut me in. I thanked him, gave the driver my address and looked out the window.
The view into the elegant lobby was clear at night so I could see when Ethan burst out of the elevators and spoke to Claude. He ran outside but my cab was already in motion. He threw up his arms in frustration and rolled his head back. I could see his feet were still bare. I could see the look of confusion and utter despair on his face when our eyes met—me inside the car and him on the street. I could see Ethan. And it was probably the last time I ever would.
6
The glorious smell of coffee woke me up. I looked at my alarm clock and knew there would be no Waterloo Bridge run this morning. I came out to the kitchen with my arm over my eyes.
“Just how you like it, Bree, sweet and creamy.” My sometime roommate and dear friend Gabrielle slid the mug in my direction, the expression on her face clearly readable. Start spilling the dish, sister, and I won’t hurt you.
I love Gaby but this thing with Ethan had so derailed me I just wanted to bury the knowledge of its existence and pretend he’d never happened.
I reached for the steaming mug and inhaled the delicious scent. It reminded me of him for some reason and I felt the bubble of emotion rise up strong. I sat down at the kitchen bar and crowded around my coffee mug like a mother hen protecting her chick. As I lowered onto the stool, the tenderness between my legs just served as another reminder. A reminder of Ethan and his hot body and model looks and the fabulous sex…and how I’d woken up in his bed hysterical. I gave up the joke of trying to be brave and let the tears come.
It took some time, two cups of coffee, and a move to the couch to get the story out of me. But Gaby is pretty good that way. She’s relentless.
“I silenced your phone two hours ago. That duffel bag was making so much damn noise I wanted to kick it.” Gabrielle stroked my head resting on her shoulder. “You’ve got voicemails and text messages up the wazoo. I think the poor thing was about to blow, so I saved it a cataclysmic death and shut the f**ker off.”
“Thank you, Gab. I’m so glad you’re here this morning.” And I meant that. She was like me in a lot of ways. A California native in London, studying conservancy and running from shit back home that haunted her. The only difference was that her father actually lived in London so she was not totally on her own here in the UK. We’d found each other during that first week of classes nearly four years ago and never really let go. She knew my dark secrets and I knew hers.
“Me too.” She patted me on the knee. “And you’re going to make an appointment with Dr. Roswell, and make plans to go clubbing with Benny and me, and a stop into Charbonnel et Walker so we can gorge ourselves on sinfully rich chocolate.” She tilted her head. “Sound good to you?”
“It sounds divine.” I forced a smile and tried to pull myself together.
“And maybe you should give this guy a chance, Bree. He’s good in the sack and he wants you bad.”
I turned my fake smile into an authentic frown. “You’ve been gossiping with Ben.”
She rolled her eyes at me. “Or at least call him back.” Gaby lowered her voice to a whisper. “He doesn’t know anything about your past...”
“I know.” And Gaby was right. Ethan didn’t know about me.
Gaby rubbed my arm.
“I wasn’t really mad or offended by him last night. I just had to get out of there. I woke up screaming in his bed and I—”
The urge to cry right now was just as strong as before. I tried to force the impulse down.
“But it sounds like he wanted to comfort you. He wasn’t trying to push you away, Bree.”
“But you should have seen his face when he burst into his bedroom with me howling like a lunatic. The way he looked at me…” I rubbed my temples. “He’s just so intense. I can’t explain him properly to you, Gab. Ethan is like nothing I have ever encountered and I don’t know if I could survive him. If last night is any indication then I sincerely doubt it.”
Gaby looked at me, her beautiful green eyes smiling with confidence. “You are much stronger than you think you are. I know this.” She nodded firmly. “You are going to go get ready for work and then after a productive day in service to the great masterworks of the University of London, you’re coming home to get ready for our night of decadent pleasures. Benny’s already on board.” She poked me in the shoulder with her finger. “Now move it, sister.”
“I knew it. Ben outted me the instant he could.” I smiled at her, the first genuine one I’d felt in twelve hours and heaved my ass off the sofa. “I’m on it, Gab,” I said, rubbing where she’d poked me, “I surrender.”
I’d been at work for a few hours when Rory came through the back with a vase of the most gorgeous deep purple dahlias I had ever seen. He marched up to me with a beaming smile on his face. “A delivery for you, Miss Brynne. You have an admirer it seems.”
Oh shit! I did a double take. The bow on the vase was not really a bow. It was his silk purple tie from last night. Ethan had given his tie to me after all.
“Thank you for delivering them back here to me, Rory. They are gorgeous.” My hand shook as I reached for the card on the plastic holder. I dropped it twice before I was able to read what he’d written.