brutal, savage standards that cut through flesh and bone and demand me to stand atop a mountain as a god. Every decision I make is analysed, criticised, deconstructed then reconstructed all over again. And to make it all worse, I have held you to those standards too, Tatum. I have demanded you to be perfect, yet it took losing you to realise how vile a demon perfection really is. And it was always my demon to bear, never yours. You are beautifully, astoundingly human. And I no longer fear being human too. Because if I am to hold myself to any standard, my siren, my heart, my fucking everything, then there is no greater standard on earth than you.”
“Saint,” I gasped, leaning upwards, feeling his breath against my lips.
“I thought for so many years that happiness was a word which belonged to fools and simpletons, to those who had no ambitions of greatness, who would achieve nothing but pointless dreams while living little, irrelevant lives. But now I see it was my life that was small. And that love is not an infantile dream, but the only dream I have ever had that serves a greater purpose than myself. I have fallen for you like those grains of sands that once bound me so completely, slipping one by one, slowly over time, without me ever noticing at all. And somehow, there is no chaos now that the last has fallen, just peace, entire, fucking, peace. So I will let them lie, Tatum Rivers. I will let them lie for you.”
I captured his lips, my heart expanding, filling up with the beauty of his words and the sacrifice I knew it had taken for him to say them. He held my hips, angling my body for him to claim and my fingers bunched against his shoulders as I anticipated the fullness of him inside me. He reached down to hook my knee under his arm, drawing it up in a slow and deliberate move that made my heart thump unevenly.
“If you’re going to fuck each other again can you give me a heads up because I’ll find some other couch to sleep on,” Monroe called from downstairs, a note of irritation in his tone.
Saint was clearly about to fuck me anyway so I slapped his shoulder and gave him a firm look.
“Don’t be a dick,” I hissed and he smirked. I pushed him back, my heart aching to be close to my other Night Keepers too and Saint’s expression softened like he understood exactly what I wanted.
He drew away from me, suddenly on his feet, yanking his boxers on as he strode to the edge of the balcony. I leapt after him, grabbing a silken dressing gown and pulling it on, tying it in place as I ran to Saint’s side. I looked down at Monroe on the couch, the dark tigress tattoo on his broad chest looking somehow more monstrous than usual as it gazed back at me.
“Morning,” I called and Monroe smiled at me before tossing a jealous look at Saint.
“Good morning, princess,” he said, pushing a hand through his messy blonde hair and my fingers twitched with the urge to do the same. He looked freaking edible in the mornings, all sleepy-eyed and beastly.
Blake was in the kitchen making coffee and he looked up at me with a longing in his eyes that pricked my heart. I was itching to go to him, to Monroe, to Kyan. Hell, I needed all of them surrounding me. I didn’t know how to explain it or what they thought of it. The idea that I could be in love with four men was insanity, and yet it was true. But I didn’t know how to divide myself between them all. I didn’t know if I would always be enough for them this way either. And I wanted them all to choose this just as I wanted to choose it. Because if they thought I could be enough, then I would make it my life’s mission to be. I would love them all just as deeply, just as fiercely as each other. And I needed them to know that.
“I don’t know what you’re both staring at,” Saint said curtly. “I claimed our girl just like the rest of you have.”
“I’m mostly annoyed that you treated us to the gift of hearing it,” Monroe growled, his eyes darkening.
“Well, I’m not going to apologise for your lack of ingenuity, Nash,” Saint said coolly. “You