that they could come together on something. My hand trembles around my Solo cup as I refill my source of reprieve. I can’t let them win. I can’t run with my tail tucked between my legs and cry. For my entire life, I’ve been shuffling the shitty cards, looking for that one trump card that would make all the other cards pale in comparison. If I know how to do anything, it’s how to fake it. After one swig of my drink, I realize I forgot the Coke. Chin the hell up, I will finish it anyway, and then I will slow down. I just need that rush of zero fucks that straight liquor can deliver.
“Are you okay?” Lily whispers.
“I will be. Does that count?”
I take another swig, this one bigger than the last, and the burn just as prevalent. I welcome the warm, tingly feeling that begins to flow through me. I’m headed straight to don’t give a fuckville and letting Jack press the pedal to the metal. Two more swigs and I finally have the courage to look at the source of my misery once more. He’s firing up the grill with little Miss Clueless up his ass. I look around, watching as Killian and Ren try to busy themselves with preparing the meat. I know they’re all waiting for me to react. Even Ivy, sprawled out on one of the chaise chairs while she chats on her phone. They don’t know how deep this betrayal runs because they only know the gist of the story from the fight.
“I understand if you need to go. I don’t know what I would do if I was in your shoes right now. I can’t believe he’s parading that chick in front of you. She’s not even cute,” Lily huffs.
“No, because she’s gorgeous,” I point out. “Thanks anyway, Lil. I’ll be fine. I’m definitely not leaving now. They don’t get to win.” Honestly, I can see the attraction. Her curves rival mine, but unlike me, she has her assets on display with a transparent dress covering her tiny red bikini. His favorite color.
“Yeah. Screw her and him.”
I actually meant Asher and Phoenix don’t get to win, but I almost forgot I was supposed to be pretending he and I made amends.
I slide my shades on in case my stupid tears decide to make a reappearance, then grab a paranormal book from my bag after putting away my notes for the novel. No way can I concentrate on their journey now. Fiction sounds like a nice alternative to my effed-up reality.
Another hour passes, and I have yet to get past the first chapter. I swear I’ve read the same scene more than a dozen times. It so hard to ignore the pawn when she keeps giggling at everything Phoenix says. My stomach knots every time. I haven’t had another drink, but my buzz is the only thing dulling the ache. Still, I want to slap the silly grin off her face and knee him in the balls.
I eat part of a burger and down some water after Lily threatens to force-feed me. She’s actually doing a decent job of distracting me with all her plans for school and what she wants to do after graduation. We discuss her crocheting hobby, and she promises to teach me.
The sun begins to set, so Ren lights the logs stacked in the center of us, making a bonfire.
“Truth or dare time,” Mitch sings excitedly. Half of the group groans.
“That is so juvenile,” Ivy whines.
“Hush. You’re just afraid your skeletons will be revealed,” Mitch shoots back.
“I think it’s a great way to really get to know you guys.” Killian grins. “I’m in.”
“Fuck it, I’m in,” Phoenix agrees. I watch as one by one, they all surround the fire. Some more excited than others, yet all still willing to participate.
“C’mon,” Lily encourages. “We may even get the dirt on little Miss Thirsty.”
A belly laugh escapes me at Lily’s nickname for her. Especially since it’s just one of the many I’ve given her since she arrived. The guys turn to look at us because I’m still laughing. Jack has joined the party. I pour myself another drink, careful to add Coke this time.
“Are you joining the fun, or are you two just going to giggle like hyenas over there?” Mitch asks.
Neither of us answers. She just gathers our towels and moves closer as we try to tamp down our snickering. Melissa makes a show of sitting on Phoenix’s lap,