too,’ Ethan answered. ‘I am sure that will never change.’
‘I miss Ferne,’ Louis said then, shuffling his feet a little against the cold. ‘And I regret not handling things so well when our father died. I shut her out. I shut you out.’ He sniffed. ‘I shut out my mother and eventually I ran away. I don’t want to do that again.’
‘So help me,’ Ethan encouraged. ‘Work with me.’
Louis let out a noise of discontent then. ‘I don’t know what is for the best anymore. And I am also not sure my mother inviting the recipient of Ferne’s kidney here was the best idea.’ He let out a noise of discontent, his hands going to his head. ‘I have tried my best to support it, but my mother has been a little fixated with trying to get me to spend time with her.’
‘I… could not think about that.’ He still didn’t want to think about it now.
‘You should have come to the dinner and the lunch. You could have helped bring some normality to the proceedings. Not that the girls are not good company. They are nice enough. But it gets a little wearing when the only memories your mother is sharing of your sister are the good bits. There is very little mention of the stubborn, foolhardy person Ferne could be. And you know that side of her like I do.’
‘The girls?’ Ethan queried. Suddenly what Louis was saying was drip-feeding into him a lot more slowly than he needed it to. And there was something, the smallest of thoughts, morphing and expanding, prickling his subconscious as he took it on board.
‘She has a friend. A rather nice friend actually but… I do not need the complications of a relationship right now. Not when I am worried about my mother and the hotels and…’
Ethan’s head was suddenly full of Keeley. Keeley’s laugh. Keeley’s smile. The way her hair moved in the breeze of a snow shower, their passionate, perfect night together… Her scars. He swallowed as her words came back to him. It was a shark. He came off much worse than I did. Momentarily, it felt like he was paralysed and then, when adrenaline started kicking in, pulsing around his body hard and fast, it was pushing scenarios he didn’t want to have to contemplate right at him. It couldn’t be. Why would it be. How could it be?
‘What is her name?’ Ethan asked, the words scratching their way up his throat.
‘What?’ Louis replied.
‘The… person,’ Ethan began, suddenly sweating despite the fiercely cold temperature of the street. ‘This… girl. The one that… received… part of Ferne.’ He could not even bear to say the words. But, as Louis opened his lips to make his answer, Ethan already knew what was coming. He braced himself against the brickwork of the apartment, flesh against stone, heart achingly waiting for confirmation he didn’t want…
‘Keeley,’ Louis said. ‘Her name is Keeley.’
Sixty-Three
Outside La Valentin, Passage Jouffroy, Paris
For ten minutes Keeley had debated whether she should wait outside or whether she should go into the smart patisserie. There were so many different varieties of desserts in the front windows, – puffed up macarons, fluffed out croissants, cakes with cream and cherries on top – a collection of colour and textures. All of them looked equally perfect, yet none of them were desirable to someone whose stomach was in knots. Finally, she had opted for staying outside, where she could busy her feet, stamping them down on the tiled floor of the impressive arcade that was Passage Jouffroy, as well as keeping out the cold. Its impressive high glass ceiling let in the bright light of this December day, then, below it, nestled between the frontages of the independent shops and curling wrought-iron lamps were lots of Christmas touches – thick garlands of red tinsel looped around shiny gold baubles and white fairy lights. She breathed in, re-imagining the scent of freshly ground coffee and letting her mind fill in the gaps of exactly what the bonbons and other sweet treats might smell like. Rach was shopping, not far away, ready to arrive should Keeley need her. She was hoping she wouldn’t need her. She hoped she could cope with whatever this conversation brought.
Keeley’s phone started vibrating and she drew it out of the pocket of her coat expecting it to be Ethan. Was he running late? Was he not coming?
Erica. An audio call.
Keeley’s heart lurched and she rushed to answer, pressing the phone to