I going to have to tell Ethan about my transplant, I’m also going to have to tell him that I have Ferne’s kidney.’
Silvie didn’t immediately reply and when Keeley looked up it was to see tears were in the woman’s eyes too. She suddenly felt very selfish for coming here at all.
‘I’m sorry,’ Keeley said, standing up. ‘I sound so ungrateful. I shouldn’t have come. I don’t know what I was thinking. I probably wasn’t thinking at all. I’ve insulted you and I’ve insulted Ferne’s memory and—’
‘Keeley,’ Silvie said. ‘Please, sit down. Please.’
The woman said it in such a manner that Keeley didn’t refuse. Dropping down to the sofa again she held her hands together, now feeling utterly exhausted.
‘You are an intelligent girl,’ Silvie began. ‘No, not a girl. You are a woman.’ She drew the cord of her gown more tightly around her. ‘A woman who is living.’
‘I know,’ Keeley said. ‘And I know right now I sound so selfish and completely ungracious but…’
‘Do you know what I think? I think you worry too much about everyone else,’ Silvie said firmly. ‘I think you worry and think about everything so much that you forget the most important person.’ Silvie took hold of Keeley’s hands again, holding them tight. ‘Like you said. You.’ Silvie smiled. ‘It is time to think of you.’
Keeley shook her head.
‘What are you most afraid of?’
‘Telling Ethan.’
‘Telling Ethan what?’
‘That…’ Her brain was firing now, taking in everything Silvie had told her. What part of this whole scenario was the worst? Her admitting she lived a life watching her health with the possibility of more operations in the future and a shorter shelf life than most? Or that Ethan’s deceased best friend had gifted a piece of herself and it was her death that had brought them together. Or… that she had fallen in love with him.
Silvie held Keeley’s hands in hers again and sighed. ‘Do you know, when I invited you here to Paris, in the back of my mind, I had this very very silly idea… that perhaps you would meet Louis and you and he would…’ Suddenly all Lizzie’s warnings about being held hostage tap-danced into Keeley’s conscience.
Silvie shook her head. ‘So silly. What was I thinking?’ She took a breath. ‘Keeley, I want you to know and believe that that was never my principal thought when I reached out. It was always about getting to know you and finding out how you were. I had thought about approaching the hospital before, but I was not ready before. And then, as time went on, and the thought came again and would not let go, I began to pray that I had not missed my chance to connect. And the more I hoped, the more I realised I had to take the chance. What harm was there to call them? To ask if you had left your details accessible if I did ever decide to write. And when they passed on the email address I was delighted. I think I drafted that short email about a hundred times and I still was not sure it was right. Would you reply? Or would you decide that to know me would perhaps set back your recovery and your healing. And I had no idea about your poor, poor sister.’ She paused for a beat. ‘But then I met you and I really began to get to know what an incredibly kind and beautiful person you are. You are exactly the kind of person Ferne would be cheering on if she were still here. Someone strong and independent, a caring friend with a gentle and beautiful spirit. Someone who thought nothing of jumping on a train to meet a very stupid, sentimental old woman.’
‘Silvie,’ Keeley said.
‘Yes, my darling girl.’
‘I think,’ Keeley began. ‘I think… I am in love with Ethan.’
Silvie nodded, long and slow, her hands still cupping Keeley’s so tenderly. Like a mother. ‘Then, you must tell him.’ She smiled. ‘Tell him everything.’
Sixty
L’Hotel Paris Parfait, Tour Eiffel, Paris
‘Wake up! Wake up!’
It was Jeanne’s voice very close to his ear and for a moment, Ethan didn’t know where he was. Then it all came back to him. The previous night, everything being so perfect and then suddenly not. He could sense, more than see, it was morning, but a quick look to the curtains showed there was light behind them and he was lying in the middle of a king-sized bed in one of the rooms at the