you." I smile, but this is my real, happy smile which my Mum tells me is exactly the same as my disarming one, but it feels different on the inside I tell her. I’m glad he doesn’t want me wandering about in the dark on my own, he has no idea about my life clearly, but that’s for another day!
It seemed to me I’d been sitting with Daniel for a short time, but it is gone 6pm now and outside the sky is already darkening to black rapidly, and faint twinkly glimpses of stars are beginning to appear in the darkened blue. The air smells of crisp cold, autumn leaves and Daniel blimey he smells so good, I just want to kiss his neck and breathe him in.
Down the centre line at a counter canter.
Daniel rakes his hair, nice, and his watch strap comes undone, and he snaps it back in place, it doesn't close with the correct volume or tone of click for my liking, something's not right. Daniel is frowning and retrying it.
“You need to take that to Baby Chris” I tell him helpfully, “in Hatton Garden.”
“You know Baby Chris?” he asks surprised. Blimey, there's something other than denim we have in common.
“Only through Blossom, yes.” I look at my own watch, I wonder...?
“Yes, it needs fixing before I lose it.” He closes it again hoping it had healed itself, but of course it hasn't. “I'll call Blossom tomorrow.” Get on that waiting list, good luck. “Let's go!”
"I’ll have one drink then I have to go." I try not to sound sharp, but it’s my protective side warning me not to get involved with something I don't understand. I’m only really comfortable when I know how something works, and Daniel was working me in a way that I have no experience of. I have to get away as soon as is polite, to take stock and control of my head I tell myself in a not too convincing way.
"Your life must be very busy, if you have to celebrate your new job with only one drink,” he says, sliding his phone and Rolex into his back pocket, “do you have a boyfriend?" An odd question I think suddenly, a come on? He has a charming face, warm and intelligent, I begin to imagine...then shut that thought down immediately, I have animals to feed and I’m a long way from home. Boyfriend? Bloody hell.
"No!" I answer a little too emphatically, "I have horses and cats, that even with their own habits of self-gathered supplementary feeding require me to feed them again, it doesn’t count unless it comes in a bowl!" I explain with a giggle.
HC working trot.
“Horses eh? Very nice.” He seems sincere, but you can never quite tell. Never know what to expect when I tell someone I have horses, stupid comments often follow. But what nobody understands, is that horses are the things little girls love the most, and when they grow up they just add boys and clothes to that list, well real girls do. In my view.
We jump into his car, the driver puts all my bags in the boot, I feel oddly comfortable with this man, his straight forward confident demeanour, manly stride, sensual soft mouth. Stop it Tharie!! I say thank you to the glass partition between us and the driver, but he either can't hear me or is pretending not to, I wonder if it's how he is trained. Then I decide it was the driver Daniel was talking to on the phone just now. Was it a foregone conclusion I would say yes? I hate that. I stop thinking about it. He merely nods his head and pulls out into the non-existent traffic. Outside, it's still and deserted. The air super chilled.
'Into my heart, the air that kills
From yon far country blows
What are those blue remembered hills?
What spires, what farms are those?'
We don't speak, we just sit there in awkward silence, two people who have things they want to say but neither of them says it. The air crackles with an atmosphere, I’d love to bite his earlobe, what is wrong with me? I choose not to answer my own question, preferring only the simple ones this time of night
'Happy highways where I went, and shall not come again' Housman. There's my brain, quoting literature to gain control. It's not working.
My phone buzzes, thank goodness.
Note to self, hug that person whoever it is as a thank you later.
PF: “Drink?” I appear