we had. I want it back. I want us to make this work. And I want you to prove to me that we can."
"I will," he says in a determined voice, his eyes fixed on mine. "I won't leave you again. I can't. I love you too much to be without you. I don't know what I'll do for a job but I'll figure it out. I'll work fast food. Paint houses. Shovel horse shit. Whatever I have to do, I'll do it. I won't leave you again. And I won't leave Pops."
My mind goes to Grams. She's known about Walter's cancer for weeks and had to deal with it all alone.
"I need to go see Grams. I can't imagine what she's going through. My grandpa had cancer too, and now Walter." I rub Tyler's arm. "Why don't you come home with me?"
"I can't. I need more time out here."
"Are you going to be okay? I could stay with you if you need me to."
"No. Go ahead. I'll be home soon."
When I get back to the house, Grams is in the kitchen. She's standing at the stove making dinner as if nothing is wrong.
I walk over to her. "Tyler is back."
"Yes, I saw him this morning." She turns the heat down on the stove.
"He told me about Walter."
She nods as she stirs onions in the skillet.
"Grams, why didn't you tell me?"
"He didn't want you to know. He didn't want anyone knowing."
"When did you find out?"
"I suspected something was wrong a little over a month ago. He seemed more tired than usual. His appetite was starting to deteriorate. I mentioned it to him and he insisted he was fine. I finally made him go to the doctor."
"Did you know he'd had it before?"
"Yes. He told me the night I found out about you and Tyler. Tyler had made that comment to Walter about him not being truthful with me. When I asked Walter what he meant, he told me about the cancer. He said it was gone but I feared it would come back. It was then that I decided Walter and I could no longer be involved romantically. After watching your grandfather suffer, I didn't think I could do that again. I was willing to be friends with Walter but I had to stop giving him my heart. I couldn't lose two loves from that horrible disease."
"But now you're dating him again. Why'd you change your mind?"
She turns the stove off. "Come sit with me."
We go to the table and sit down.
"I didn't think I could let myself love Walter," she says, "but the truth is, I already loved him when I found this out. Still, I tried to pretend my feelings for him didn't exist which is why I wouldn't let myself be more than friends with him. But then I thought about what you said after Tyler left. You were devastated. I'd never seen you hurting that much. Even after ending your engagement to Tom, you weren't in nearly as much pain as you were when Tyler left. But even so, you told me you didn't regret the time you two spent together. You said he showed you what true love felt like, and that he'd made you happier than you'd ever been before. And because of that, you didn't regret being with him, even though it ended in heartache."
"I still feel that way."
“And you were right. Hearing you say that is what convinced me to be with Walter. I chose to give him my heart completely, even knowing it'll break when he's gone. And when I did that, I stopped focusing on the sadness and started enjoying every minute I have left with him. Walter makes me happy, happier than I've ever been. He makes me laugh and smile, and when he holds my hand, it's like all our troubles fade away."
"And you don't…I mean, before you said you felt—"
"Guilty? Yes. I did feel guilty giving my heart to another man, but I don't now. Before he died, your grandfather told me to go find happiness again, without him. I didn't think I could. I thought it would be wrong if I did. But feeling this happy with someone can't possibly be wrong. And coming to that realization is what made me finally accept your being with Tyler. I thought he was wrong for you. But seeing how happy he makes you, how could he be the wrong man? After all, isn't that what life is about?