The lists helped you cope the only way you could at that point in time. You’re capable of much more now, but this has been your method for almost twenty years. I don’t want to take that away from you all at once, so we’re going to try an experiment for this first week. How many lists do you suppose you make during a day?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know, probably twenty to thirty?” Those were the ones she actually wrote down on paper. She created at least another twenty or so in her head every day, too. How much of life had she missed out on because she’d had her face buried in a piece of paper?
“Okay, for this week, you’re allowed to write down three lists a day. That’s it. That’s a hard limit. If you’ve hit your limit for the day and feel an overwhelming need to write down a list, I need you to work through it emotionally. If you’re having an issue with another person, talk through it with them. If it’s something internally happening with you, like stress, you need to sit down and talk yourself through it.”
“Are you suggesting I actually sit down and have a conversation with myself?” She gave him a small smile.
“I know. Usually, I’m trying to fix those kinds of behaviors, but with you I think it will help. I’m simply suggesting you work out your issue aloud. Just make sure you don’t answer back.”
She laughed. An hour ago, she wouldn’t have even thought that was possible within these office walls.
He gave her another gentle smile. “You’re using your lists to keep from connecting emotionally. This week, try to be aware of that. I think you’ll find that by being aware of why you need to make a list, you’ll also find that you can control your need for it. You’re shifting the power of control here so that you really will be the one in control. Okay?”
“Okay.” She could do this, right? She took a steadying breath. She needed to do this.
“If you run into any issues, feel free to call the office day or night. If it’s an emergency, my answering service can reach me. Otherwise, I’ll see you in another week.”
“Thank you, Dr. Eckert. I already feel so much better for having talked to you. I’m so glad that Pete gave me your name.”
A strange frown came over his face. “Pete Larson? The police officer?”
Julie nodded. “Yes, he told me the police department used you with a lot of success.”
“It’s good he thinks so highly of me, but I’ve been trying to get hold of him. Have you seen him lately?”
“Not lately, but I’ve been ill,” she said slowly. “As far as I know, everything’s fine with him. I haven’t seen him directly, but I’ve chatted several times this week with the girl he’s dating and I know they’ve been going out. Maybe you could try contacting him through the police department.”
“You’re right. I’ll do that. Thanks, Julie. I’ll see you next week.”
Chapter 34
The next morning, Chris woke up excited about his plan for today, but first he had an idea to get the day started right. Julie had begun to rouse, but was still dozing in bed when he rolled over on top of her. He began to trail a line of kisses between her breasts. “Wake up, Butterfly.”
She scrunched up her face and whined, “No, it’s Saturday.”
“Aw, the romance is already gone, isn’t it? You’d rather sleep in than play with me?”
A single eye popped open to scowl at him. “Saturday’s are sacred territory, even with you, looking at me all sexy. Damn,” the second eye opened and she examined him more closely, “you really are sexy in the morning.” She wiggled underneath him and reached down to cup his hardened arousal.
“Oh yeah,” his voice lowered as he surged into her hand, “that’s what I’m talking about. But I have a better idea. Let’s go take a shower. I want you slippery and wet.”
“What makes you think I’m not already?” Her eyes sparkled.
He closed his eyes and moaned. “You are such a tease, but I want to take a shower. We have plans for today.” Scooping her up as he went, he crawled off the bed. She was so tiny; she fit into his arms so perfectly. Carrying her everywhere they went sounded like something he could live with. Nothing about life was as close to Nirvana as it was when she was right here,