Aaron died, and the torture of watching them together. There’d always been a slight tension between them that he hadn’t recognized at the time. This must have been the source for it.
“I don’t understand. If that was the case, then why did you stay with him once I was back?”
“He was a good man and he loved me. You made it obvious you didn’t want me, and I didn’t want to hurt him.”
“But,” he sputtered. He had wanted her, desperately. But he had been dealing with so many debilitating physical and mental problems. He remembered back over those days in the hospital, when he was zoned out with extremely high fever and excruciating pain. At that point in time, no one but family was allowed to see him. Cassie had sat by his bedside for hours, telling him stories about everything that had happened in the six months while he’d been held captive. Within those stories he learned about Julie and her new gorgeous doctor boyfriend.
But Cassie had never known his history with Julie. They’d chosen not to share it with her or any of their friends so she had no way of knowing how destructive those stories were to his heart. When he’d finally gotten to see Julie, he’d acted like he didn’t care purely as a self-defense mechanism. He was already hurting too much to be able to deal with her outright rejection, too.
He swallowed against the lump in his throat. “Butterfly, I never stopped wanting you. It was thoughts of you and that perfect day at Cassie’s house that kept me alive all those months.”
Tears flowed freely down her face, as she brushed her fingertips across the bruise on his cheek. As he winced, her eyes widened. “Oh no, I forgot about your knee.” She scrambled off him, throwing on clothes as she ran to the kitchen.
He slumped back, once again feeling all his aches and pains. His knee pulsed in time to his heart, his head pounded, and his ribs shuddered with every breath he drew into his lungs. Between the adrenaline, the orgasm, and the fact he hadn’t slept in over twenty-four hours, he was losing in his battle against exhaustion. He was aware of Julie propping his knee up with a pillow and placing an ice pack around it, but he was too far-gone into sleep to respond to it.
* * *
Julie watched over Chris as he slept. Every minute, it seemed as if the bruises on his torso and face became more intense. There were some stitches along his side that she was curious about. The wound didn’t look fresh, but she didn’t know how he’d hurt himself before this attack. She was jittery and having a hard time settling down. She paced around the room, glancing worriedly at him every time she rounded the corner.
They’d made love and it had been amazing. Her knees quivered just thinking about it. She studied him, taking a moment to lean down to examine the bruise blossoming over his temple. Tears welled in her eyes. She couldn’t stand that he was hurt, again. She could have lost him tonight. She took a deep breath and resumed pacing, mentally listing, alphabetically, the spices in her cabinet. She made it to marjoram before she had control of her emotions again.
He said he never stopped wanting her, but right now she wasn’t deserving of that love. She wrapped her arms around her waist and crouched down to the floor, rocking slightly. She had to deal with this. They needed full honesty if they were going to move forward. He needed to know about Nalia and that she was almost positively sterile after losing the baby. She had to face this if she wanted a future with him. It was time to stop running from the memories if she wanted to be able to make it work between them.
Resolved, she made a final switch on Chris’s knee removing the ice pack and was gratified to see the swelling had gone down a lot. She drew the blanket back up his naked form, brushing a lock of hair off his forehead, and then grabbed her cell phone off the counter.
It was just after 5:00 in the morning so she knew Rachel would be up already. She slid in between the covers of her bed and dialed her big sister’s phone number.
“Hello?”
“Rachel, it’s Julie. I need help.”
“Finally…”
Chapter 32
Chris awoke at 7:45 on Julie’s couch with a crick in his neck, and the