might have been mixed with several curse words, but if the key was to be loud, I’d nailed it. And in my terror, I didn’t stop with one little yell, I kept up a steady stream of vocalized fright at the top of my lungs and raised my arms up over my head. I could be loud, but big was a lot harder for me to manage.
The cat crouched lower, considering me, the yellow eyes steady on me as it undoubtedly considered how best to attack.
My screams of fear turned to sounds of horror, though, when another animal came tearing up the hill to my left, circling behind the lion and barking like her life depended on it—or maybe the life of one of her pups.
Matilda, snarling and fierce, stopped just feet from the mountain lion, pulling it’s attention from me and the puppy.
The big cat snarled and sprang.
Chapter 19
CAMERON
I watched my sister get married and felt like I was standing outside myself, like a spectator instead of a participant. From my mental distance, I could see more clearly, could consider more objectively. My sister was beautiful, and so happy as I delivered her to Connor at the end of the aisle. I had an overwhelming sense of rightness as I clapped him on the back and smiled at him. This was meant to be. I was certain of it.
And I was stunned, not for the first time, when I caught sight of Harper. She wore a simple pink sheath dress, high-heeled sandals, and her hair pulled up off her neck in a simple twist on the back of her head. She was gorgeous, and as she stood at the back of the grove with her clipboard, quietly orchestrating every last detail of the event, it occurred to me how talented she was. She’d created all of this from nothing more than a thought, an idea. She’d made it real and built the perfect place for my sister’s wedding by simply wiling it all into happening.
I knew she was brilliant, and obviously she was good at her job, but I thought there was more to it.
I watched her throughout the ceremony—I couldn’t have helped it if I’d wanted to. She shone like honesty and truth as she stood at the back of the crowd, and I wished I could be as authentic and true as she was every minute of her life. There was nothing hidden about Harper—she’d never hidden her feelings from me, and all she’d asked of me was to do the same, to be honest. With her, with myself.
But I couldn’t. Being honest would mean letting go of the guilt and regret I’d gathered and held close all these years. It would mean pushing those things away and stepping forward into Harper’s light, stripping myself of whatever armor I’d managed to cobble together and being vulnerable to a world that I felt had already hurt me so many times. How could a person do that? How could someone willingly stand emotionally naked, knowing they might end up hurt more deeply than ever before?
That’s what Harper did. I knew it was. That was the only reason she shone so brightly—because she presented herself to the world, to everyone, exactly as she was. She’d been hurt. But she still looked me right in the eye and told me how she felt, what she wanted, what she hoped for. And I’d failed to do the same.
Was I that much of a coward?
As I watched her, something in my heart shifted. Shame at being afraid began to solidify and morph into resolve to be brave instead. I knew what I wanted. I’d known from the moment I’d first seen her. I wanted her. I wanted to be close to that honesty, that bravery. But I wanted to be worthy of it too, and that’s what had taken longer.
When my duties at the reception were done, I’d find her. I’d talk to her. I’d tell her not to go—beg her if I had to.
And if she turned me down?
It would hurt.
But wasn’t the chance at standing in Harper’s light, even for a few minutes, worth the fear of being hurt again?
As Maddie and Connor kissed, solidifying their future, I took a breath to steel myself, resolved to begin my own future tonight too.
The reception was perfect, and again I marveled at Harper’s ability to anticipate what people would want, how things should be. After Maddie and Connor arrived, I began to look