lonely things have been—how lonely I’ve been. Thank you for including me, for allowing me to get to know your friends.”
I looked down at her, wanting to take her somewhere quiet, have her to myself again. “I don’t actually spend a lot of time with friends,” I admitted. “I try to stay close to my sister, but I worry about getting too attached to other people.”
Her face revealed her surprise, and she let out a light laugh. “Why?”
I had no idea why I was telling her this, but I forged ahead, lifting a shoulder in a half-shrug. She’d surely think I was crazy, but it might work to keep her at a distance. And I wasn’t sure I’d succeed in staying away from her on my own. If she thought I was nuts, or believed being near me could hurt her, she’d pitch into the effort. “I’ve got a lot of evidence that people I care a lot about tend to die.”
Her eyebrows shot up but she didn’t say anything. Those dark eyes held mine, told me she was waiting for more.
“Not just people,” I said. “Pets, too.” I took a long swig of the beer in my hand, and when she still didn’t speak, I went on, leaning against the porch railing and turning to stare out over the treetops at the sky as it turned from cerulean to indigo. “When I was a kid, I had a guinea pig. But only for a few days. As soon as we got him home and set up, he died.”
She made a sad noise, telling me she was still listening.
“So we got a second guinea pig, figuring the first one was sick when we got it. Got this one from a different place. I had it two weeks.”
“Did you forget to feed the little guy?” she asked, a half smile lifting her plump lips.
I sighed. “I know it sounds ridiculous. He didn’t die because I forgot to feed him. My dad joked that I was cursed, but I think he was actually right.”
“Come on, Cam,” she said.
I took another long pull and then told her the rest. “In junior high school my best friend Tony and I were inseparable as soon as we met. We did everything together for three months. He was supposed to be coming to my house one night to spend the night, and he never showed up. Got hit by a car while he rode his bike, and died on the side of the road.”
“Oh my gosh,” her voice was a whisper now. Miranda and Sam had gone inside and it was just us on the deck. I turned to face her, unable to stop recounting the markers of my curse now that I’d begun.
“We got a dog after that. My parents were trying to cheer me up after Tony died. The dog lived six months. In high school it was my favorite teacher. A few years later? My mom. When I met Jess, I loved her so much I convinced myself it couldn’t be real, that all these deaths couldn’t possibly be linked to me. And then Jess died.”
“Cam—“
“I know it sounds insane. But it’s too much to risk again. I think maybe it’s some kind of karmic toll I’m paying.”
“Something you did in a past life?” She asked thoughtfully, and it occurred to me she wasn’t reacting as I’d expected, maybe even hoped. She wasn’t backing away. In fact, her hand was on my arm again, and she stepped nearer. “Do you really believe that?”
I rubbed a hand down my face, trying to move my focus from where her fingers singed my skin, from the nearness of her. “I don’t know. Maybe.” I looked at her, this vibrant woman who was more alive than anyone I’d ever met. And then I pictured her dead, lifeless, and I pulled my arm out of her grasp. “Yeah, I do.”
“It’s total crap, Cam,” she said, her voice low but assertive.
“Hey guys,” Maddie called, stepping out onto the deck. “Dinner.”
I turned to go in, but Harper grabbed my hand and stepped in close again. “I get why you might think you’re cursed, but I also think you know it’s bull. I don’t believe it, for what it’s worth.”
I held her dark eyes, dancing with defiant heat and energy, and then let out a resigned breath. “Let’s go eat,” I said.
But I didn’t let go of her hand until we reached the door, and when I dropped her smooth fingers