No, that would be too simple and my dad wasn’t exactly a simple guy. They had health issues in the hospital for months afterward that they never fully recovered from. We got those bills added to the pile, too.
“Then back taxes and a shift in zoning on the family ranch that has been in the family five generations and we’re in debt so deep, I’m not sure how we’ll ever get out. That was my life. That was my reality. Then suddenly, I get a call from a prospective client. I’m a private investigator. That’s my real job. I haven’t had steady work in a while and this job came at a dead standstill for cases. We had no money coming in and foreclosure and eviction is literally scheduled for two days after Christmas. Christmas, Amanda.” He shook his head, his eyes red-rimmed. “Two days after. Then my grandmother goes and gets injured which is costing us more money we definitely don’t have. I’ve had to put so much of my integrity on the line just to save my family home. I don’t even know where to start explaining or giving you excuses. There is no way to justify what I’ve done or what I planned on doing, but I have felt awful this entire time. Ever since meeting you.”
“Ever since you picked up my private medical folder and lied about who you were and what you were doing?” Amanda licked her lips, ignoring the way he glanced at her mouth as she did so. She looked away. Her shoulders were stiff as she tried to accept what he was saying.
Was it good enough? Was that enough of a justification for the things he’d done?
“I have no right to ask this, but are you mad at me? Is there anything I can do to make this up to you?” Tommy’s earnestness would have been sweet, if it wasn’t one more thing Amanda had to process.
She rubbed at her eyes and shook her head. “I’m honestly not sure what to think. I don’t know how to understand all of this.”
She’d been falling for him. How did she get her head on straight when her heart held the reins?
One way or another, she couldn’t deal with this storm of truths. Everything she’d believed was a lie. Tommy wasn’t who she’d thought he was, and yet he was. That just tore her up more than she could figure out.
She had to get her heart under control. It couldn’t make the decisions anymore. No more.
Amanda wouldn’t survive.
Chapter 34
Tommy
Amanda had to process what he’d told her. Not that he blamed her for needing time to get through what he’d admitted to.
He not only wanted her to forgive him, he wanted her to love him. Time wasn’t a costly thing in the whole scheme of things.
“What do you need from me? What can I do?” He tapped his foot, his knee jiggling as he contemplated her. Her cheeks had pinkened, making her eyes brighter than normal, almost to the point of being neon blue. “Amanda, seriously, are you mad at me?” He couldn’t get rid of the sick feeling in his stomach, but at least the tension between his shoulder blades had eased from getting the truth out there.
“Yep. But I don’t want to deal with it right now. I just want to get the rest of this out of the way. Tell me what exactly you have done for Jennifer? What do I need to protect my family from?” She crossed her arms across her chest and studied him with the sides of her eyes downturned.
“She knows I’ve made contact with you and a few of the other people in the situation. She’s got to be aware that I’m staying out here by now. Other than that, she doesn’t know or have anything else.” Tommy swallowed.
Amanda said she was mad but she didn’t want to deal with it right then.
Tommy wasn’t a therapist but he’d done enough research to know that when someone didn’t deal with their issues they festered. That wasn’t a good thing for Tommy. The anger would grow and grow until it became a hardened mass of hate.
Hate wasn’t love.
Tommy hadn’t realized how much he needed her to love him. He’d even go back in time and turn down the job from the beginning. No matter what he would lose in the process.
Amanda bit her lip, a distracting habit of hers that was going to drive Tommy a little on the batty