Oh Lord, Help Me Keep My Panties on - By Lynda Burton Page 0,54

a man as one, maybe,” and laughed again. Pat permed, washed, and rolled my hair in record time as we watched the morning news and talk shows.

I was sitting under the dryer watching TV when a commercial aired about the Bahamas, and I immediately thought of Kavon. I remembered the few times that I was around him and his two kids; he seemed to be a great dad. He was patient, loving, understanding, and playful. Most of all he seemed to be a good example of what a father should be, at least on the surface. His practice of unprotected sex in addition to his seemingly noncommittal relationships just turned me off. Oh well, it’s over now, I thought to myself. The hair dryer was on full blast and it was making me sleepy.

Before I knew it I had drifted off to sleep and was dreaming of when I was married to Errol. I met Errol about eight years ago at a political event. He was a personal bodyguard of a prominent congressman, who will remain anonymous. Errol was a divorcee and had custody of his two kids. He worked in the same building as I but on a different floor. At work when we ran into each other, we were professional and kept our relationship on the down low. I preferred it better that way, and didn’t want to be in the office limelight of gossip. So we kept it all business while at work and let my hair down when I was off. It seemed like the perfect relationship. We liked and disliked almost the same things. We had similar quirks and wanted the same things out of life, so it seemed. I thought we were compatible and maybe we were the perfect match, but boy was I wrong!

After two weeks of dating, I met his family, his parents, his siblings and then his twins, Denise and Kirk. After four months of dating, he asked me for my hand in marriage and insisted that the wedding take place within two months. Without really thinking about what I was getting into. I said yes. I knew that I didn’t love him like a woman should love a man that she was about to marry, but I felt I would grow to love him. Wrong! I should have followed my mind and said no, but I didn’t. But since this looked like my only offer of marriage and kids I said yes. I know now that this was a poor excuse, to get married but this seemed like the right decision at the time.

I knew that Hobbs and I were set in our ways, but I was willing to make a change in our lifestyle and prayed that things would work out. Errol’s finances were tight so instead of having our wedding in a catering hall we made plans for an intimate wedding in the backyard. With no time to spare I went full steam ahead with the wedding, the white dress, the invitations and all. Ugh, never again! A month before the wedding, Errol insisted that he and his two kids move in with me. That meant, we had to move fast! He gave his landlord a month notice that he was getting married and packed up. Errol and I moved all of my things out of my guest room and office and converted them into bedrooms for the kids. Next we rearranged everything in my basement to accommodate his living room furniture and placed my office stuff in the corner opposite his office stuff. We had two additional phone lines installed and a bamboo room divider to separate our space. The more stuff he moved in, the more uneasy I got. I began to feel as if I was suffocating, but quickly dismissed the thought and chalked it us as pre-wedding-jitters.

I should have followed my mind and called off the wedding when my wedding day turned into a near disaster. A week after Errol asked me to marry him I had hired a seamstress to design and make my wedding dress. I didn’t have time or money for anything elaborate, so I opted for a simple yet elegant dress. Well, as fate would have it, the seamstress got sick and was unable to complete my dress on time. Well, believe it or not, the morning of my wedding, I still had no dress! I was walking around the house in my bathrobe and panties and everyone was running