me?” she asked softly, which made me realize in the whole time we’d been together, we’d never done that.
We’d had sex all over her loft, and I’d showered in her fancy bathroom a plenty.
But we’d never done it together.
“Yeah, I do.” I nodded, brushing my fingers over her skin. Giving her a quick kiss, I gently pulled out of her and moved from the bed. She turned onto her side, watching me as I strode naked to her bathroom door. “Let me go start the water, come in when you’re ready.”
She hesitated at first but then nodded, and I had to wonder if the lack of condom was going to come up sooner than later. “You good?” I asked, waiting for her to say what I assumed was on her mind.
“Yes, I’ll be right in.” A small smile spread across her lips. “I’d really like to shower with you.”
It felt like more, like she was agreeing to something else, the shower the least of it. But she looked happy, relieved almost and I didn’t want to say anything that was going to take that away.
“Good, then come with me.”
Presley
MY BATHROOM WAS my sanctuary.
The place where I could literally strip bare.
I didn’t have to pretend in there, didn’t have to the wear the expectations of anyone else, and didn’t have to put on the brave face.
When Jared went back to work and I’d gone to Diablo solo for the first time, it was where I sat in the bottom of the stall and cried. It was stupid really, curled up in a corner and letting the water wash over me while I sobbed for no reason.
I was fine.
Hayden was fine.
And Lewis was in custody.
Why I was obsessing over it and letting it control my thoughts and feelings made no sense. I was a smart girl, why couldn’t my brain accept that everyone was safe, and I didn’t need to feel those feelings anymore.
But as much as I rationalized it, I couldn’t make it stop. The endless loop of my bad decision, and the blame that I should’ve known.
I’d lived with Lewis.
How didn’t I know about the gambling, the debts, the way he was manipulating not only me, but everyone around him? But I didn’t. Because he was hot, and I was busy. And well, it was just easy to ignore the signs.
I felt stupid.
Angry at myself.
And so goddamn guilty that no one could convince me otherwise.
I brought Lewis into our lives, so for better or worse, I was partly to blame.
But I wasn’t in my sanctuary where it was safe to have those thoughts, I was in my bed. And Jared was in my shower waiting for me to join him.
I’d never had a guy in there with me before, managing to avoid any intimacy in that room by careful and creative dodging. Sure, they used my bathroom when they stayed over, but never with me in it. The line of separation was maintained, keeping the integrity of my safe place.
Until Jared asked me if I wanted a shower.
With him.
The “no” had been right on my tongue, ready to give him one of the hundreds of excuses I’d given everyone before him. But for some reason, I didn’t. Because for the first time ever, I didn’t want to.
My feet slid to the floor, hearing the water already running in the other room. He’d left the door ajar, the steam barely spilling out. It was ridiculous how nervous I was about going into a room I’d been in a million times before, but it was different.
Wiping my hands down my bare legs, I took a tentative step and then another, holding my breath as I walked in. He was already in the shower, his blond hair saturated as his piercing blue eyes looked at me from under the spray. He was hot, rivulets of water snaked its way down, hugging each muscle on his chest and torso before falling to the floor.
Two large towels had been put conveniently close, his eyes raking up and down my body as I neared the stall. “You look pretty content in there,” I asked, opening the glass door and stepping inside. “You sure you want company?”
He didn’t respond, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me close. “I don’t want company, Presley. I want you.”
I wasn’t sure if it was him or me that started the kiss, his hands moving to my face as his mouth continued to move.
It was hot, the water cascading between